Dear Miss Trodo...You Filthy Dork Wanna Be,
I say Filthy Dork Wanna Be in place of Filthy Whore because I want my response to your open letter to be snarky but not down right offensive. And also because I don't know if you're dirty or slutty but I do know that you are totally a Dork Wanna Be, so let's leave it at that.
First off, animals are gross. And now that we've established that simple fact get this: Porn-Star Dogs take the cake in the grossness factor cake competition... I don't want to go into how yucky even talking about Dogs and Porn in the same mini-paragraph has made me feel.
I need to go to my safe place.
I don't see anything wrong with sending my children to school in cat skins. Have you ever seen how many stray cats there are!?? They can be put to good use...and through that avenue my skills as a hunter/animal hide tanner/seamstress come quite in handy!
Regarding a free hat, I would be more than happy to send you one! Send me your address and I'll work up that ultra-cute hat and scarf set right away and get it out to you as soon as humanly possible. When you get the package and it smells alarmingly like dead animal, please ignore the smell rip open the package to recieve your tanned cat skin toga...
I mean adorable handmade hat/scarf set.
P.S. The new Panic Room open letter was nowhere as tongue in cheek as the open letter to me! You're kissing his blog ass! Shameless.