Wednesday, June 3, 2009

Devil's Minion or Angel Baby?

My daughter Olivia is showing signs of blatant satanic possession...

She's oddly Anti-Fat, not caring if she's hurting feelings or just being a total mini-jerk.

Then to top this new super bad-kid attitude, she pulls super mean trick on her paternal grandmother, who cares for her every Monday at her dad's house...

...follow me, dear reader, into Olivia's world:

My three daughter's stay at their dad's house every Friday-Sunday night and come home to Jeremiah and I on Monday evening. We go to pick up Olivia and Max at their dad's house Monday and Max informs us that Olivia got in some weally big twouble. Olive is usually very quiet when she gets in trouble, silently brooding for a while, so I didn't think of interrogating her about what she did to get in 'really big trouble'. It doesn't really matter much what she did to get into this trouble, just suffice to say she was up shit crick without a paddle with her grandma.

When we got home there was a message from the girls' grandma on the phone. Her keys were missing and she thinks Olivia or Max did something with them. Can I ask them and call her back. Both girls barely acknowledge my questioning, both sure they have no idea where the keys are. I called the grandma back, informed her of this and though she was sure one of them had done something with them, we left it at that.

Their dad calls a half hour later, asks to talk to the girls, gets the same response. I talk to them again, neither one has any idea where they are...but lo an behold now Olivia suddenly remembers seeing them...

"somewhere, mom..."

but she has no idea where, nor did she touch them.

"Olivia, are you sure?"

"YEP SURE MOMMA." She even strokes my face and smiles. What a sweet girl!

Another half hour later their dad calls again. " I really don't want to bother you again Erin, but my mom can't find her keys anywhere. She's sure that one of the girls did something with them, can I talk to Max again?"

(Of course Max is at fault, poor misunderstood Max...)

This time he doesn't even talk to Olive. It's after I hang up the phone that she is finally looking worried.

"Olivia, your grandma has been looking for her keys now at your dad's house for an hour and a half! I'm sure she has to go home to feed her cat!" (Olivia might hate fats, but she loves cats)

"Okay Momma. They're behind Rose's bed."

I made her call her dad and tell him. She listened without any emotion on her face, apologized and hung up. The consensus is that she was mad at getting time out so she hid her grandma's keys...

AND EVERYONE'S 'OKAY' WITH THAT???

3 comments:

The Angry Georgian said...

I thought you were going to say she came after you with a knife or something.

kara said...

kids are crafty. it's why we don't let them play with things like handcuffs or gravy.

Pop and Ice said...

Yes, an inconvenience, but your kids did stick together and show a good sense of teamwork. Actually my hubby said that. He says give them an "A" for effort. I thought it was pretty funny, too. Sorry....I know we're not being supportive here.