Monday, June 15, 2009

Jumping Jehosophats!

Do you ever have those dreams where they're just so horrible you feel totally shaken when you wake up? I had one of those this morning and it was just horrendous. I still feel a little bit sick to the stomach actually! UGH!

In my dream Jeremiah left me, completely without warning for this really really really ugly super tall chick. Like SUPER TALL. And they were all making out in front of me with tongue and groping hands. It was seriously something I will have burnt into my mind forever.
And I was yelling in my dream like the sorry sap that I am, "I'VE BEEN WAITING FOR YOU MY WHOLE LIFE AND YOU END UP RUINING OUR DREAMS WITH SOME UGLY YUCKY PERSON!?"
and then he calmly says, "You drive me nuts." They walk away hand in hand. End Scene, bring on the tears.
I'm hoping this bowl of cheerios and strawberries will cheer me up and if that doesn't work, I bet the coffee will suffice...or the beautiful weather.

I'm going to head to the store today to get some 'outside' crap for the summer. We're saving for a new car right now and probably will be for awhile, so me and the kids are stuck at home a lot while Jeremiah is at work. I'm looking into the whole bus thing, I know there is a bus stop at the end of our street, but someone told me that you have to change buses and be on the bus for an hour before you can change to get to our town's public pool. We could probably walk there in an hour! It would just be one hell of a trek.

So anyone have any suggestions? Right now I'm thinking baby pool, maybe a volleyball net? A sprinkler?
Oh! Squirt Guns! My little brother and I used to play with those for ever. My mom hates guns in every form though, and she'd always be upset that we were shooting each other...even though it was just water.
Or sometimes hot water, just to put a little fear into my snotty brother!
Ah-Ha! Talk That Jehosophat!!!!!!!!!!

Poor Joshy...that's my brother. Otherwise known as Jehosophat, or Phats...which is funny cause my dad calls him Phats most often and Josh has never been even remotely fat. Ironically he was actually negative fact, being that he was like 1 pound 13 ounces at one point.
(Side note: he was born at 26 weeks gestation)

And although I was gentler than most older siblings are with their little brothers, I still tortured him and he still bugged the ever loving shit out of me. We had this one game called beat up dancing. We'd tango down a line and at the end we'd start hitting each other, and then continue tangoing back.
Classy.
I also made him try to smoke a green bean from the back yard garden once.

Wow.

I'll end this strange post on that strange note.

9 comments:

otherworldlyone said...

Hmm...I would go with the sprinklers. But not the ones that do the motion that inspired the dance (those things hurt)...the ones that gently wave up and down.

I used to (ahem, still do) torture my little sister. I once gave her cat treats (the soft ones) and told her they were some kind of gummy.

Lana said...

do they still make slip and slides? my bro and i used to love that when we were little!

sucks about the dream, i've had similar ones. once b left me because my leg hair was out of control. shake it off baby, tall chicks are so passe.

erin said...

@otherone: I got them a sprinkler last year and it was so fierce and painful! Threw it away, cause I'm wasteful like that?

@Lana: Thanks. I'm trying to shake it off...And slip and slide!! Holy shit that's a good idea!

Yellow Trash Diaries said...

Sometimes I have a dream about my husband cheating and wake up pissed off at him and he plays all innocent and incredulous when I explain to him-- which just makes me angrier because the least he could do is apologize, right?

Jenni Jiggety said...

I would recommend the sprinklers and squirt guns!

I would not recommend the green bean smoking.

Pop and Ice said...

Wow, you people and your weird dreams. I'm so glad I don't remember most of mine or they're very nebulous at best.

I think getting some water game stuff for the yard is a great idea.

Sam said...

I have those kind of dreams about David ALL THE TIME. I mean, not only is he flagrantly cheating on me while I scream and cry like a madwoman, but his utter nonchalance tells me he's beyond caring about my feelings. It's chilling, I tell you, and when I wake up I always blame him. :)

On a more serious note, I think it's the subconscious way of feeling gratitude for someone who we sometimes can't believe is just that steady and dependable. :)

kara said...

wow, those last two were the best stories ever.

yes get a sprinkler. and not same weensie-ass dora the explorer flower or anything, i mean a metal fountain-like sprinkler. one that means business.

and then get a giant trampoline and put the sprinkler under it.

yes.

Unknown Mami said...

When I have bad dreams that involve my husband I wake up upset with him and he has to remind me that he hasn't done anything wrong and that it was just a dream. I tell him I'm mad ast his dream self.con