Thursday, May 28, 2009

Anti-Fat Sentiments and Cute Videos

I know, I know...I'm such a super dumb 'Mommy Blogger' and you all can't stand me and how much I talk about my kids.

So on with it I will go!

My kids are funny/mean/strange:

Olivia says she's a 'Dog Whisperer' and talks daily about getting a dog..."to whisper to".

Max wears this one pair of cheetah print leggings all of the time. Rose loves them and regardless of how many times Max wears them she always compliments her on them.
"Maxine, you look lovely in those pants"
"Thanx Wose...they're cheetah, you know."

Olivia is extremely prejudiced against fat people. I, for some reason, am sometimes an exception from this horrible form of child bigotry, and sometimes bear the brunt of it.
When you try to explain to her how mean and inappropriate she is, she laughs...
"I'm so skinny, why can't they just be like me?"

"Mom your butt is SO BIG! Isn't there something you can do to stop growing SO BIG???"

"That lady's arms were the size of the weights she should be working out with."

"If he stopped eating, he wouldn't be so gigantic. My brother is huge and that dude would kill him if he sat on him!!!!!!!!!! That's dangerous."

Although I'm pretty sure Jeremiah isn't on the same page with her mean sentiments, she views him as a co conspirator in her Anti-Fat Regime.
"So and so is the size of a building, a really (gestures 'wide' with her hands spread wide wide apart) one, but not so tall... Jeremiah should say something to her, then maybe she could be skinny, like us."

She also tells me that she is going to marry Jeremiah first (I'm assuming she means before I do) because they are both so skinny.

Elijah is funny mainly cause he's a baby...that almost two age is usually rife with hilarity. He's also doing this stubborn non-talky thing:

I love the way he sits and smugly smiles at me, "Laugh it up think everything's funny and delightful now, but you won't be so happy when Poppa marries Olivia because they're skinny and you're fat!"


Lana said...

my favorite part was the cheetah leggins. and kids are a wonderful source of humor, especially yours :)

kara said...

what a little ladykiller! you turn him on every waitress and nurse in town and i guarantee you'll get free pie and vaccinations for LIFE!

The Angry Georgian said...

I loved the cheetah leggings remark too. :)

Kristine said...

"That's dangerous" Hahaha. Oh, too bad we can't all stay so young (I mean, skinny.)

Sharing the INSANITY said...

Very funny you and your kids are!

My #3 is learning about the solar system this week...his new word is "Uranus" of course he says it like "YOUR Anus" LOL!!

Scary Mommy said...

You're kids are hilarious!!

Mine are terrible with fat people as well. My daughter caught a bit of The Biggest Loser last month and now points out who needs to go on the show. Loudly.

formerly fun said...

Oh my gawd is he cute. I love the way he smiles at you like, mom, I'm gonna make you work for this.