Tuesday, May 19, 2009

Llama Flu and Giant Arse's Galore!

On Monday Jeremiah and I took Elijah to a nearby animal park.
I'm sure most have you have been to a place like this.
They're usually right off of the highway, tons of billboards leading up to them, and they end up being mostly a petting zoo with a few lions (Barbary Lions, which I was told yesterday, are extinct in the wild), bears, and sloths thrown in for good measure.

It was pretty clear that this place sucked for the animals, and the workers were all super mean and dirty. This one guy was raking crap out of the camel enclosure (cage) and was talking to himself in crazy-man speak the whole time. Littered with "f*cking this" "piss poor mother f*er's" "what the f*ck is going on here"...

It's pretty insane when you walk through a animal park and think, "Boy, it would be so much better for these animals in a zoo!".

This place has a ton of llamas and goats, which are both villainous creatures. There was also a incident of llama spitting that took place towards the end of our foray into this dirty, smelly, sad place. I have a couple photos of the super-jerk llama that spit at Jeremiah. I say super-jerk because I have to pretend like it wasn't absolutely hilarious watching Jeremiah run away from a spitting llama.


Elijah didn't really seem that into the more exotic animals. He growled at the Bears for a minute, but didn't even want to shoot dog food (from the $.25 machine next to the bear cage) down the PVC pipe and onto the shit covered cage floor.
He was mostly into feeding the petting zoo animals and out of all of them really spent the most time with this tiny little kangaroo. He insisted feeding this little dude one piece of rabbit pellet (that's the best way to describe the $3 bucket of stinky crud we bought at the front entrance....I'm sure it's very nutritious for the animals) at a time. I felt so bad for this kangaroo friend, suffering in silence as he took his sustenance from my little boy's hand in amazingly slow increments:


To cap our day off, Jeremiah bought a infant seat for the back of my bike (a hand me down from Jeremiah's dad, Thanks DAVE!). We rode around the neighborhood and Elijah screamed when we took him out of the seat! He LOVED it!
I took Max in it later that night when she got home from her dad's house. I wasn't riding fast enough for her so Jeremiah took her out and I heard her screaming in delight from blocks away.
Here is Elijah is his new helmet and me and Elijah on our new bike configuration. Please take care not to stare so much at my giant arse. Hopefully the bike and Elijah's extra weight will help me burn some of that monster off.

8 comments:

BlondieLox said...

you look great! don't go hatin' on ourself!! no good. your son is a total doll face! those caged animal places can be quite depressing. the bike ride looks like it made up for everything!

Sass Pizzazz said...

Ooh! That bike looks like a lot of fun! Now I want to get mine out of storage at my parents' house! (And also ride around with a child on the back... does anyone have a child I can borrow?)

Sharing the INSANITY said...

Hilarious...

When we go to the zoo we always look at the spitting camels first. No spew has been chucked at us lately though.

Insane

Pop and Ice said...

I need a new bike to get out and exercise on! My old bike is a hunched over 10 speed that would kill my back after once round the block!

Lana said...

he looks so happy in the bike seat! it's nice when you find something they like :)

Kristine said...

My husband and I were talking about taking ours to the Bronx Zoo this summer, but I'm wondering if I'll be able to deal with the trauma...I had a donkey start eating the puffy sleeves of my dress when I was a kid and I was soo terrified. Lots of screaming. Probably lots of laughing that I don't recall.

Though, if a llama spits on my husband, I think it'll be okay.

Prosy said...

awww cute lil kangaroo. That place sounds like a 'animal park' near where I used to live. We used to go and make up facts about the animals, shimmy up to some kids, and talk real loud about 'didja know sea otters are the only animals that commit suicide?' and then try to see if any of our 'animal facts' caught on with other groups.

kara said...

those little eyes have a delicious amount of evil in them. i think it bleeds in through the helmet. the helmet of evil. love it.