Wednesday, March 24, 2010

List Full Ness

I'm a big fan of lists. If I'm not constantly writing them out, I'm constantly 'writing' them in my head. And trust me folks, this head is not a clear and concise platform for fluent thought.

The list, in my head, upon awaking:

1) Change boy's diaper.
2) Lay in bed.
3) Change boy's diaper.
4) Lay in bed.
5) No really, you lazy asshole. Change boy's diaper.

The list, written out, after Rose and Olivia left for school:

1) Make beds.
2) Start laundry.
3) Make sure Max knows the difference between 'P' and 'B'.
4) Read to the boy one.
5) Work on custom orders...watch Farscape Season 3 with headphones on.
5) Pretend not to notice Max eating her fifth Go-Gurt.
6) Text Jeremiah at least 35 times

The list, in my head, regarding my hygiene:

1) Take a shower you dirty whore.
2) Pluck your eyebrows you hairy beast.
3) Wear some clothes other than PJ's today.
4) Clip those toenails before your Momma notices your raccoon-like claws.

The list, written in blood, about what I need to do before bed:

1)Pack Rose's lunch
2)Finish custom bunny. Do it now. Now. Now.
3)Package finished items for shipping.
4)DO THE GOD DAMN DISHES BEFORE IT'S TOO LATE!!!!
5)Stare dreamily into Jeremiah's eyes. (this is underlined several times...must have hidden meaning.)
6)If you didn't already shower, you filthy jackass, don't you dare do it now. You will wake the ruffians.

The list, written here on ze blog, about what I need to do tomorrow:

1) Don't yell at anyone. The kids will talk about you and your horrible parenting on their blogs someday.
2) Don't forget to do the laundry that you never even began yesterday. If you put it off for one more day, Jeremiah will have no socks and it will be all your fault.
3) Call your grandma.
4) Take little kids on walk in your brand new bike trailer/double stroller.
5) Smile.
6) Smile some more.
7) When Max grumps at you for every little tiny suggestion you make about the day's activities, hug her. She's a mean vixen, but she is your mean vixen.
8) Tell Rose to stop growing.
9) Write to Steamy. Give her an internet kiss.
10) Remember how hard Jeremiah works. Tell him how much you love him. Smile even when he rolls his eyes at you for the quad-rillionth time.

13 comments:

Logical Libby said...

What the hell is a go-gurt?

Hey, something on my blog for you.

Tina H said...

Oh you crack me up! I love your lists!

Tony said...

Do you guys freeze the gogurts? I used to freeze them back in the day...wow...I haven't had a go gurt since I was like 10!

mylittlebecky said...

i LOVE lists. i make post-it note lists at work all day long for home usage because i'm a post-it note stealer.

Becky said...

We should play a game where I try to sign on and off facebook before you find me and IM me! YAY!

Becky said...

What the eff? How'd it come up with Becky??

mo.stoneskin said...

I reckon you should underline 'call grandma' multiple times. Everyone knows what can happen if grandmas don't get their call.

erin said...

Libby: Oh Go-Gurt. It's so gross. I mean, all the kids love it and I think it's the devil's yogurt.

Tina: Thank you. I love your lists too?

Tony: Yes! I buy multiple boxes and some go in the freezer and some in the fridge. Olivia and Rose prefer them frozen, Elijah and Max not frozen.

Becky:Stay away from my post-its turdface.

Beckerino: Ohhhh you trampy tramp! You had me going there for a second. Like you don't want to talk to me. Ha. Hilarious notion.
(side note: I am never speaking to you again. Ever.)

Mo:My mom told me that my grandma is in a 'mood'...so maybe I won't call...today. Breaking all the rules!

otherworldlyone said...

I make head lists too.

1. Mail buttons
2. Rob bank.
3. ....is that a muffin?

Thank gawd someone else pretends not to notice the consumption of massive amounts of snacks. I can't help it. It means quiet. I love quiet.

barefootchickadees said...

I'm a list maker to the core...my husband laughs and says I leave trails of ToDo lists around the house.

Love your blog by the way - adorable kiddos

Steam Me Up, Kid said...

You obviously don't get the game. After I sign off, I sign back on and we determine who won the game, and then we chat for 45 minutes. And I give you compliments.

Bethany said...

great lists!!!!
you always make me laugh.

Sam said...

love the lists.