Tuesday, August 4, 2009

Chill the Frick Out!

I was about to preface this post with the comment 'I don't complain all that often.'.

But now that I'm thinking about it, I've recently complained about pregnant smokers (if you are one of these people, take heed, I cursed this blog with my mojo and you'll have horrendous heartburn for the rest of your life if you do not stop poisoning your unborn child), the weather...well, I guess that's it.

So today I'm going to complain about myself. I have this problem lately where I can just not relax. You know, chill, take it easy, enjoy life...bla bla bla. It's really starting to take a toll on me. I'm not reading as much, I'm worrying more about cleaning than playing with the kids, I'm fretting about what to make for dinner instead of plotting and carrying out the American Forces take over of North Korea and how many different ways I could humiliate KimIllJongFatHead.

Right now the baby is napping and the girls are with their dad and I'm worrying about whether or not I cut up and refridgerated enough cantaloupe to last till tomorrow. Who cares? Can't I just cut up the other cantoloupe when the first one runs out? Maybe I should just go cut it up and refridgerate it right now?! WHAT!? Like that's of any import whatsoever.

I have three books sitting here, staring at me, calling out to me. I have a billion blogs that I usually love to read yelling my name at the top of their lungs, "Erin, we're hilarious and yes even sometimes informative!".

Now I've noticed that the mailman still has not taken our Netflix movies...does that mean that we won't get movies when I thought we were going to? I had this weeks evening activities planned out and the god damned Mail Man is ruining everything!

See? Mega-Uptight.

The house is going to get messy, the laundry will always have to be done, dinner will always have to be prepared....but do I have to sit and think about these things ad nauseam? And why in God's name is the spell checker telling me I spelled that wrong? IT'S CALLED LATIN YOU FREAKING IDIOT.

Am I drinking too much coffee? Where does the clean and tidy disease come from? Why do I feel the need to be on top of things all the time?

I remember when Rosey was a baby we would play all day long. The house was always a complete and total mess, I never cooked or did laundry unless it was completely necessary. We watched movies, read books, played with PlayDoh, talked, went on walks, danced around. I was so relaxed and totally awesome. Somewhere between the stress and mental breakdown of Maxine (child number three) and the calm after the storm, Elijah (child number four) I became a normal uptight bitch-mom. Was my mom totally cool and laid back at one time??? Oh my God, I think she was.

I'm going to turn into my momma.

Soo...any tips, advice? Tell me something other than 'Chill The Frick Out!'.


otherworldlyone said...

Xanax, sweetheart, Xanax. ;)

I feel like that every now and then. It passes. Have Jeremiah distract you from your temporary OCD.

Kim said...

I hate to clean, but I get stressed out about other stuff. Lately I feel like the Rule Nazi instead of the fun mom I always thought I'd be. I worry about too much, and I too need to just chill out and relax.

Sam said...

No advice here. I only have the one kid and I have the entire Viennese Woods up my ass.

I will annoyingly point out that it's ad nauseum, though. ;) (And my spell check still doesn't like it.)

Prunella Jones said...

When I'm feeling uptight
and my fun is not funny
when I fret about chores
and lack of much money
I pop open some wine
and drink till I'm sunny.

I drink wine at the sink
it helps, there's no doubt
my cares drop away
and then I pass out.

Try it!

John Pender said...

You could just duct tape them to the walls.

adrienne said...

stop watching the news. if you do. if you don't, then well, i just don't know.



Unknown Mami said...

I say every time you stress about something lame you smack yourself in the face with a fly swatter. Let me know how that goes.

Petit fleur said...

Well, cutting down on caffeine will undoubtedly help.

Mostly though, I think it comes with the mom territory. We have to be like sharks. Ever moving, ever planning ahead-- lest everything gets so out of hand we just cannot get out of bed to face it all.

I'm an uptighty and I only have one kid! I've noticed it comes and goes in cycles. It maybe connected to hormones??

--Oh, I just got an idea too.. do the older children help with chores? Maybe they could have their own little lists of responsibilities?? Although, that could end up being more trouble than it's worth. Only having one, I do not know.

Red wine and Atavan? Well, maybe not at the same time!

Ok, that's all I got for now. I'll think about this a while though. Hang in.

Melissa said...

smoke something. Or drink. or get out of the house with the kids, even if you just drive around town. That's what I have to do when it's a mess, the kids are crazy and the hubby has 8 people in the basement playing poker for obscene amounts of *play* money online and they want me to cook for them? what?!

Good luck. I'm sure you're a cool mama even on your worse day.

Rachel said...

hey you dont know me, but I came by way of Kara's blog.

the advice I give my sister, mother of two young, hyperactive boys and wife of an eternal child, is...


yes, just say it. draw it out upon the tongue. "deee--fenn--nesssst--RAY--shuuun" and let your imagination see the scene before you: the curtions billowing with the breeze, and your strong hands lovingly grasping a child by the ankles, and lobbing said child out the window, to spin like a dandelion on the wind. Do all this whilst drinking a spot of tea.

Od course, Im single and childless, so I might not know what the heck I'm talking about, but I'm convinced it could work!

Great blog btw. :)

michelle said...

Some funny suggestions here... controlled substances, excessive alcohol, self flagellation, endangering the welfare of a child.

hee hee

I had the exact same cantaloupe dilemma a few days ago.

I guess the bottom line is

headbitingprincess said...

tru dat !!! i also share your pain ..
its all mind over matter tho and how we put it into action ..

Im totally OCD and now spend time all kinds of difft ways then when my eldest was firstborn .. sigh .. ever changing life is

twinkie said...

I was totally gonna come in here and say, "Drink some wine. That, in turn will FORCE you to chill the eff out." But Prunella not only beat me to it, she beat me to it with wit and humor! And some stylin' rhymin'

Green-Eyed Momster said...

"tidy disease"? I don't have it and I don't know what it is. I would suggest a bath, a long walk by yourself or with your Hubby if you want company. Do something for you. Some Moms give more than they have to give and they are left feeling robbed, you know? I'm not saying you are but I've done that in the past. Especially with 4 kids. It's easy to do.

Oh, and clean the house after the kids move out! It'll be messy until they do.

Email me if you want supplement, herb, homeopathy, aromatherapy or reflexology advice, okay?


Mr. Condescending said...

go out into an open field and SCREAM!

Ms. Moon said...

Reading this post just reminded me I HAVE A HONEYDEW MELON TO CUT!
Sorry, honey. The mother gene kicks in and there's not a whole lot you can do about it. Except drink.

The Wades said...

Came over from Sam's blog. She's right--you're great!

Wanted you to know I'm feeling your pain on this one. I have four kiddos myself-10, 9, 7, and 3. I always say I was a better one child parent.

Thanks for the smiles this morning.