Jeremiah, my love, my all, my very self, is posting today on Blogging is for Dorks.
I have not read what he has written, but I'm sure it's wonderfully sarcastic and maybe even bordering on mean.
Comment him and compliment him! I implore you! I have to live with this beast day after day and if no one comments on this post, I will never hear the end of it.
So, what is like to live with Erin, my sweet little schnookems pookie bunny face?
It is rather like walking on egg-shells due to her hair trigger temper. Erin will not hesitate to administer a devastating thrashing for something as simple as asking her to try to remember to close the kitchen cabinets.
Here is a picture of a, shall I say, "less brutal" beating from an earlier date (enhanced for clarity).
Dear sweet Olivia tried to sooth my frayed nerves by brushing my hair.
Olivia is my favorite of the girl children that live in our house. Please do not tell the other ones that I said that though.
Erins attacks come suddenly and swiftly from which, I have no defense. If one has ever seen the Tom and Jerry cartoon in which Jerry (that's the mouse), takes Tom (the cat) by the foot and slams him to and fro, then spins around like an Olympic athlete releasing him into a piano...that is an accurate description of the level of violence this woman is capable of.
Beware not to cross her.
In all seriousness though, she takes care of all of us really well and puts up with my shit more than I put up with hers. She is very talented and beautiful, I just love to cuddle all night and whisper sweet nothings into each others ears (gag,cough) and then go to sleep knowing all is well and that we are soul mates.
Now to the revenge section.
I am sorry but I cannot resist posting an embarrassing photograph.....this is in retaliation of course.
Aaaaahhhh! I can't bring myself to do it.
So I'll describe it a little:
Erin is laying on the couch on her back. She's wearing an old grey T-shirt riddled with holes and various stains of unknown origin with green and grey striped pajama bottoms, hair and clothes are both disheveled . She's asleep with one arm above her head ,slightly bent. The other is tucked in her pants like Al Bundy. Priceless!
In fact, having made several copies, stored at different locations, I think somebody will have to start being very nice to a certain someone........now? ( she's going to be pissed at that sentence because she's nice all the time)
Erin cooks, cleans, does the laundry, takes care of the children and complains about it incessantly. And we love her. And she loves the Golden Girls, and all reality shows.
She dances like a white broad, is a total control freak and pretends she can speak German. I could, if I felt so inclined, reveal some deep dark secrets here but I will not be that mean (wink wink pick pick).
So instead of creating an even more hostile environment and to avoid a total bloodbath I will just end this by saying, "Hey my little pookie chipmunk looking piece of delightfulness, thank you for being you. I love you! ".
P.S. I need a new hat, unless you can worsh the old one. Oh man the kids are all going to be saying "worsh" it's going to be awesome, I'll see ya later.