We have pretty early bedtime here at Casa de la Dorkiness. We send the kids up to bed at 8pm and usually by 8:30pm it's relatively quiet. (I say relatively because lately Elijah has been jumping in his crib and yelling at fictional 'ho-hos' who obviously live on our roof...I'm as confused as you are.)
Last night around 8:45pm all was quiet and Jeremiah had been out running some errands so I was patting myself on the back for my successful solo bedtime results. I went up the stairs to use the bathroom and didn't close the door because that would alert the natives that may still be awake of my presence. I sat down on the toilet to pee and let out the tiniest little baby toot in the history of baby toots. This tiny gas bubble prompted this response from Olivia's room:
"OH MY GOD MOM!!!!!! ARE YOU OKAY?!!!!!!!!!!!! DO YOU HAVE THE DIARRHEA?!"
Which was followed by uncontrollable and insane cascades of laughter. Which ended with a calm Olivia saying:
"No, really Mom...are you okay?"
It was the World's Most Insignificantly Small Toot Ever! Now I'm sure she's at school telling all of her friends about her mom's disgusting night-time dump of epic proportions. Complete with sound effects and facial expressions. Oh boy.
Then this morning at 6:50am I woke up to find Maxine in my face. At least it wasn't 4am...but still, why does that child find it necessary to perch nearly directly on top of me and then stick her adorable and beaming face directly in mine? People who may wonder why I am totally and completely insane might understand if they knew I was woken up almost every morning like this.
"Momma. Momma. Momma."
"Holy crap Max! What's wrong?...Oh. Good morning Max, I didn't realize it was morning time yet."
"Mom. Olivia and Rose are not up for school yet. Not yet. I went in their room and turned on their light and jumped on them and they just got up and turned the light off and went back to bed."
"Max. It's not even 7am. The girls don't have to be up till 8."
"Oh...well, 7 is close to 8. They're right next to each other. It's kind of like the same thing. Right?"
"I'll get up with you Max, just leave them alone."
"But Mommmmmm....Olivia needs to get something for me."
"I can get it for you."
"No. Olivia has to."
"Max. I can get it, get up off of me so I can get dressed."
"Mom. NO. You can't see it. It's....a surprise."
This is a red alert...I can see all the signs of some kind of huge mess or something of that caliber hidden somewhere in my house.
"Maxine, I'll get it for you, leave Olivia alone. You're not supposed to have secrets from me."
"Mom. Just leave it alone."
She sounded so serious I decided to leave it alone and wait to see what secrets Olivia would uncover later in the morning.
Later in the morning...I found that Olivia and Max had slathered one of Elijah's sleeping bunnies with lotion and shaving gel, cut up his long floppy ears, put him in a plastic bag and hid him in the bathroom linen closet underneath the towels. I'm going to attempt to wash him, but I think that bunny might be dead. Good thing Elijah won't notice cause he has 5 other sleeping bunnies to replace that one. But, to be honest with you, it was my favorite.
R.I.P. Grey and Green Sleeping Bunny. You were soft, but not long for this world.