Tuesday, February 15, 2011

My Stinky Valentine's Day Party

Rosey called me at 6:30 am yesterday from her Dad's house (this is his long weekend with the girls) to remind me that I am one of the three parents in charge of crafts/activities for the Valentine's Day party at school.

Whoops.

I remember reading the paper sent home about the V-Day Party, briefly speaking to another one of the parents and being perplexed and confused as to why there were three parents to do the activities and crafts for a 45 minute party and ONE parent in charge of the snacks and drinks. I know I tweeted about it once.

And then I promptly forgot, until Rose's phone call.

"Mom! What kind of thing are you doing for the party today? Mom!" She's way too chipper, demanding and awake for early morning.

Elijah, perched on the pillow beside me starts to yell, "Wo Wo on the phone! WOWOWOWOWOWOWO!".

"Hi Rosey. To be honest with you, I haven't really decided what I'm going to do. How about a word search?" I'm fighting a cold and my voice is very hoarse, which sets Rosey into a panic.

"OH no. Mom. Are you losing your voice?! You're not coming to the party, are you? I told everyone you were coming to the party!" Panicked AND whiny.

"Rose. I will be at the party with proverbial bells on. Don't worry."

"Bells? Proverbial? Mom. Why do you have to talk like that?"

I figured out some games, including the 'guess how many pieces of candy in the giant pretzel jar' (supplied by my Momma! Thanks Momma!) and some word puzzles.

I've been to the school many times before but this time, carrying a giant pretzel bin tied with ribbon and filled with candy, I was more excited.

Rose saw me walk into the class and gave me the cool kid 'half wave'. I love seeing her at school, she is a great student and a very social person, so I'm always proud of her awesomeness. Most of the other students, not so cool.

I was accosted immediately by three or four slightly foul smelling little boys. "Hi Rose's Mom!" I'm not sure why they were so interested in me, I supposed at first that maybe they had crushes on Rose or maybe they remembered me from another time I helped out in the class or during a previous year...

Oh. It's the giant, humongous jar of candy! Duh.

"Hey! Rose's Mom? Can I ask you something?'' This boy was particularly smelly. Why are boys so stinky?

"Yes, sure."

"How many pieces are in there?"

"What's your name?"

"Stinky." (I'm protecting the poor, disgusting child.)

"Ok, Stinky. Let me tell everyone this so I'm not assaulted with the same question over and over again."

I cleared my throat, which was still quite hoarse, motioned to the class for quiet. I was, of course, ignored.

"Hey! Hello! Can I have everyone's attention?!" I sounded like a weird, dying, zombie toad. At this point my futile attempts at quieting the classroom actually got a eye roll from a parent in the back of the room. Great.

"HELLO! Everyone listen to me! IT'S ABOUT THE CANDY!" Ouch. Yelling is hard work.

Finally everyone stopped what they were doing and listened to me for a minute. I explained them the rules of the guessing game and then added,

"I have no idea how many pieces of candy are in this jar. My mom helped me put this game together and was afraid that I would tell Rose the number, or give her some kind of hint, so she wrote the amount down on a piece of paper, put it in an envelope, sealed it and put it in my back pocket. So you don't have to ask me how many pieces are in the jar. I have no idea." I felt pretty happy with my speech and was satisfied that it would keep the kids off my back for the remainder.

Rosey's hand shot up in the air.

"Yes, Rosey?" Being a teacher isn't so hard, after all!

"So you're saying that you don't know how many pieces of candy are in the jar?"

Fail.

5 comments:

Sam said...

LOL! For some reason, this reminds me of my first time as school Valentine helper yesterday. I was in charge of crafts, though I hadn't BROUGHT the craft. I was just supposed to help everyone make these teddy bear frames. And 6-year-olds? Turns out they're very hard to help. And they love them some GLUE. And yes, some of them are stinky. :)

otherworldlyone said...

It's on days like those that I'm so fucking thrilled to have a job that keeps me too tied up to attend any of that crap. "Nope! Can't join your committee! Nope! Can't make any cookies! Busy busy busy!"

Angela Christensen said...

This reminds ME of all those things they always wanted me to do when my boys were small. Dear GOD, how I hated that stuff. I didn't mind cooking. When they were in high school, and both singing in musicals, they'd do something called a "lockin" where all the kids would gather, stay in the auditorium overnight and drill on the choreography or whatever. There were a ton of parents who hung out and provided supervision...what did I do? I made a giant pot of leek and potato soup, dropped it off with cups and grated cheese, and ran away as fast as I could. :)

Bette said...

Nin Jiom Pei Pa Koa (ninjiom-hk.cwahi.net) may be another solution to hoarse and sore throat. i know a lot of people use it, its also non alcoholic, though it's effectiveness is not as good as alcohol based cough medicine, but it's still good to use on not so serious sore or hoarse throat. Hope you are getting well soon!!!

Chelle said...

Boys are stinky because they fart in their snowpants all morning.