Sunday, May 9, 2010

Happy Momma's Day Jerks!

Sometimes being a Mom Sucks Ass.



Sometimes being a Mom is a joy.



Ass:
I have a lot of work to do today, which I really enjoy doing. What I don't enjoy doing is being interrupted every three seconds by Elijah.

"Maaaa. Bababbababababababaaaaaaaaa." And up I go to get him a sippy cup.

"Maaaaa....pee on potty!" And up I go to take him to the potty.

Ten minutes later I smell stench. He pooped in his diaper (how did I have the foresight to put a diaper on him?). Change his diaper, get him dressed.

Make him a snack, bring his car garage and all of his cars downstairs. Put on a movie. Leave the room. Sit down. Pick up on kitten ear to stitch onto a kitten hat.

"Maaaaaa. Pee on Potty!"

Joy:
This morning when I got Elijah out of his crib he ran into my room and jumped into my bed. I laid down with him and he said,

"I ruv wu Momma."

Ass:
My three oldest daughter's spend every Friday-Monday with their Dad. Yesterday they came over to spend the day with me because they had lots of plans for Mother's Day Sunday (soccer games and birthday parties).
We had a nice time, ate pizza and snacks and I even let them all have ginger ale with dinner.
When it's time to leave, Max cries.

Although I don't like it when she cries, my heart did jump a wee bit.
'She's sad that she has to leave...', I thought to myself.

"Moooooommmmmmmmmaaaaaa....I didn't even get to finish my KLONDIKE BARRRR!"

Joy:
The other day Olivia hugged me and said

"You feel so much skinnier, it's so nice."

Ass:

"You were softer when you were fatter."

Joy:
Rosey and I got to hang out on the couch for a few minutes last night before the younger kids got a hold of me. I even got to push her bangs off of her lovely forehead.

Ass:
Because of all these joyful children I have six loads of laundry to do this Mother's Day.

Joy of All Joys:
I have four healthy, vibrant children.
I had the privilege of feeding them from my own body and caring for them with my own hands.

Happy Mother's Day! Give Yo Momma a kiss, or a hug, or a friendly phone call. If you can not do those things, think of her fondly. I insist.

15 comments:

Sunshinemeg said...

Hahah! I loved your pictures = ) Happy Mother's Day!

lizzie lou said...

yes, exactly. i waxed all loving and adoring in my blog post today, but i was also thinking about my kids' recent reviews of my cooking (boo: "this smells mediocre." bean: "chili? i am NOT charmed.")... having said that, i love them even more as teenagers. i LOVE not having to pick them up, change their diapers, be careful they don't fall down the stairs, bathe them, soothe them to sleep, etc etc. i do miss their tiny little selves, but they are such AWESOME people now! it gets better and better, for real.

Ms. Moon said...

Yes. Joy and all that other stuff too.
Happy Mama's Day!

Logical Libby said...

We left Meg overnight with my Mom. Upon our return, I tried to take her only to have her wave "bye" at me and cling to Grandma.

Ass.

mylittlebecky said...

happy mother's day! :)

Green-Eyed Momster said...

Ass: I blogged about wanting pizza last week. Hubby finally went out for it after lunch. WTF?

Joy: Don't feel bad, I have 7 or 8 loads of laundry to do.

Happy Mother's Day!

Hugs!!

Sam said...

Well, if you insist, I don't have much choice. You are my sister, after all.

Love those photos. :)

Happy Mother's Day!

Petit fleur said...

Happy Mother's Day Erin.

You are a funny bunny!

Loved the good mommy, bad mommy thing. It's so TRUE!
Peace,
pf

Angela Christensen said...

Delicious. When you are past this stage, and they are all in high school and take passing notice of you now and again, someone will post something wonderful, as you have here. And you'll have a misty moment and think, "Sheesh - how could all that have gone by me so quickly?" and "I can't believe it, but I MISS that," and other things more or less in that vein. Thank you for sharing. Love, love.

michelle said...

Even the sucks ass part is yummy

happy mother's day!

Amanda said...

Softer when you're fatter...how cute! I can't wait till next mother's day when I have some joy and ass to make my day. :) Happy mother's Day a day late! :)

otherworldlyone said...

Cute and familiar. :)

Happy late mom's day, Erbear.

Sue (Someone's Mom) said...

I loved this. You made me smile.

Jules said...

Cute pictures!

I'm soft. I'm fatter.

Ally said...

Ha ha, you were softer when you were fatter. Nice.

Hope you had a wonderful Mother's Day!

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