Tuesday, October 5, 2010

My Horrendous Parenting Revealed!

My writing/humor mojo has been smashed to pieces by a visiting force I can barely compete with...

My ex mother in law.

Now now now. My mom is literally shitting her pants right now because I'm actually talking about this in a public forum, but Beta Dad has given me the balls to do this and doing it is what I'm best at.

A month ago my ex husband called me and asked me to take any videos of our daughters off of my blog, especially one in particular you might remember of Olivia dancing to 'All the Single Ladies' but also including their piano recital videos. After a short phone conversation where he stated his position and I promptly disregarded them, it all came down to two final points:

1: His parents were very 'upset' upon reading my blog. They think all videos and all photos should come off the blog.

2: They think I'm exploiting my daughters for my business, Ultra Cute Crochet.

After throwing a tremendous fit in my kitchen after speaking with my ex about this, calling my daddy and cry baby bawling for a half hour (while he was busy at work, Sorry Daddy!),calling Jeremiah at work and bawling at him for another half hour (Sorry Jeremiah!) and then finally writing a very scathing post and then not posting it, I decided to take down the 'All the Single Ladies' video of Olivia and leave it at that.

(If you're interested in reading aforementioned scathing post, let me know. I'll send it to you post haste!)

I wrote that super small so my ex mother in law wouldn't be able to read it! I am incredibly clever.

Now all the time I feel like there's a shadow looming over me and my keyboard. I feel unable to share stories and photos of my very delightful children, who I am so proud of.

The truth is, I'm pretty sure that I will never be able to do anything good in my ex's or his parent's eyes, so fuck it! Here are some images with examples of my horrendous parenting:

I'm letting Jeremiah pummel Maxine Jane with balloons! Oh the Horror!

Max and Elijah are eating lollipops AND are about to devour cake and ice cream as well. At Elijah's third birthday party! Shame on Me!

Yes, those are chips. AND both my Mom and Jeremiah's brother Craig have their elbows on the table! We're all going to hell!

Olivia's life is surely at stake... Call in The Marines (or the State Police)!

Once again, I'm taking a photo while all of my children are precariously balanced on top of a PLAYGROUND APPARATUS! For Gosh Sakes!

Did I mention that my shop now has it's own blog?! Please go check it out: Ultra Cute Crochet! There's a pretty swell October Sale going on there and there will soon be updates on the custom orders I'm doing for Steam Me Up Kid and Angela from the Eat Here Eatery.


Chani said...

I tried to write something super sarcastic but I gots nothing. This is ridiculous and I'm sorry you have to deal with the ex and his parents over something so innocent. And I do want to see the scathing post, I love a good bitch out!!

nova said...

I have never ever gotten the impression that you were exploiting the kids or anything like that. What they need to understand is that you're proud of them, and we internet people are friends you can share cool videos and photos with.

Sorry you have to deal with that stupid crap! From personal experience I know how annoying it is to be permanently attached to family you'd rather never see again because they happen to be the biological parent to someone you live with. Uuuuugh.

diane said...

Your blog is cute, funny, and real. That's why we all come here. You are not exploiting anything or anybody. Your in laws have a big old stick up their *sses.
Today is national b*tch fest day! I just posted up one h*ll of a pity post myself.
Hey, my word ver. is twhit, haha, no kidding.
Hang in there babe, and don't take any sh*t off of anybody.

Tina H said...

Love the photos and the captions!! Sorry that you have to deal with ex's that are like that! I agree with Nova, I have never thought that you were exploiting you children just to sell something! Oh the gall of some people. And by the way I loved that video!
Hang in the there and keep your head held high!

Sherilin Riley said...

i love seeing pics of people's real lives & kids on their blogs. and as long as they're not naked or performing lewd acts, i think it's fine to keep on posting.
and good thinking w/ the small printing. she probably needs glasses & won't be able to read it.

Nanc Twop said...

Reassure ex-MIL by telling her our sinister reasons for blog-hopping here...

For example, I'm here b/c my (undoubtably also evil) cable guy is an hour late, so I'm antsy. Yet too lazy to update my own blog... except for this pic, of course.


Missy said...

The nerve of ex-mother-in-laws! I have one of those. I would love to see the scathing post! You may have some material I could use on my ex! LOL

otherworldlyone said...

You don't exploit your kids. That's ridiculous.

This is one of the many reasons I don't share my blog with my family.


Give um the finger, Er bear.

erin said...

Chani: Whenever I TRY to write something super sarcastic I always end up sounding like a douche! Thanks for your comment!

MissyPoo: Many thanks Nova, I like my kids and I think they're neat and unique and like to talk about them. I'm glad you never got that impression.

Diane: I saw your rant and rave. Oh the drama of blogging! ;) Thank you for your comment.

Tina: Thanks, I love that video too. I just think Olivia is so darling and unique.

Sherilin: So I guess I shouldn't post those naked photos of myself dancing with naked midgets and pygmy goats? Ha, thanks for your comment!

Nancy: Thanks for making us anonymous on that photo. I couldn't stand that my bears and bunnies were being exploited like that!

Missy: Thanks for your comment, I can send you the scathing post if you send me your email! :)

Mwa said...

You are incredibly clever.

Only - did you see that Jeremiah also had one elbow on the table? That proved the evilness to me.

(You make me laugh.)

steff said...

it sounds like your ex and his parents are dead-set on raining on your parade. *kind og* crappy of em. there are definitely some parents out there who do exploit their kids and "use" them for finacial gain or whatever but i never got that impression from you or your blog. i think you have every right to keep on doin what you've been doin. i know my telling you to "screw 'em" is easier said than done but it seems like they are "exes" for good reason.

liz woodbury said...

1. ridiculous.

2. can i read the scathing post? i'm nosy that way.

erin said...

Aly Bear: Thanks, but you know me. Incredibly laid back. You can come up here and do it for me.

Mwa: I don't know about clever, but you're right about evil. There's tons of it here!

Steff: Thanks for your comment! It makes me feel better that people 'support' me, BUT now I feel bad for making them look like the bad guys.

Liz or anyone else that wants to get the scathing post, you can email me your email address and I'll send it to you!

Logical Libby said...

My Mom was concerned about me posting pictures of Meg, and using her actual name (gasp). I told her that if anyone wanted to do the Internet footwork to try and find Meg they still would have to deal with one big obstacle -- me. And I will cut anyone who tries to hurt my baby.

And then I will tell them where Dooce lives.

You aren't exploiting them. You're proud of them. Big diff...

Jesse said...


You're talking about parenting criticisms from the woman who raised Turdo? And you're taking them seriously?

You're doing fine with the kids and the humor, girl. But next up, IMHO, ya'll need to think about how best to grow a sense of perspective.

Anonymous said...

I've been meaning to talk to you about how you're exploiting your kids..... ;)

Sam said...

Yep, that evidence is damning. You're unfit. (But I love you and your photos anyway. :))

Nikki said...

Times they are a changing. That single ladies video could have been your daughters big chance. I'm pretty sure some day she will blame them for not getting her big break!

You're Lucky I Don't Have a Gun... said...

i love this.

your ex obviously can't think for himself, which is why he relies on his parents. next time just tell him to stfu.

Erin said...

Hee hee! Love it. I figure some of the most popular bloggers with millions of readers post names/pictures/videos of their kids on the internet and no one is coming after their kids. Gimme a friggin break. Also, Beta dad inspired me, too, and what the hell is up with that laughing dad guy?! Who reads that drivel??

Fickle Cattle said...

You are the most horrible mom ever. Did you not know playgrounds are the devil's, uhm, playground?

I am Fickle Cattle.