Thursday, October 7, 2010

Erin, Sex and A Trashy 80's Novel

Warning! This blog post is about sex. If you do not want to hear me talk about sex or are uncomfortable reading about blatantly unnatural sexual positions, please do not read on.

There. You have been warned.

This post isn't really about blatantly unnatural sexual positions. Sorry for the build up. It is instead about the book I am currently reading for the fourth time (the first being when I was 12, way to drop the ball Mom and Dad!), Lace by Shirley Conran. I have no idea why I insist on reading this book, which is essentially a romance novel, when I would usually make fun of anyone who would read anything from this genre. (Except for Wuthering Heights, all the Bronte homeys get a free pass).

I don't particularly connect with any of the characters, four women with various intertwining backgrounds who all met at a Swiss boarding school (I have, however, visited Switzerland...but not to go to school there, just to visit and walk around a village, tormenting the locals with my brash colloquialisms). But there is a lot of sex in this book and therein lies the rub!

The men in this novel are characterized as either rigid and horrible in bed or smooth, wonderful lovers who also happen to be tremendous assholes. Oh and there's also a slimy obese porn director as well.

And a transvestite husband.

And an Arab Prince (who was trained for weeks in the art of lovemaking).

What is repeated over and over again is that women aren't satisfied if they don't have an amazing partner who can expertly make her come every single time they make love. It makes me mad that intimacy is so trivialized in this book when it could be capitalized on in so many excellent ways.

I like some of the sex 'scenes' in this novel. But as soon as So and So's french paramour is a two pump chump, she's given up on him completely. She cries, blames herself for her dissatisfaction, and he tosses her to the wayside because she's frigid. It happens several times in several different sections of the book. So she 'gets revenge' later in life on men by using them for gratification and not giving them any (is that even possible?).

I don't know about you and your sex life but I wouldn't be satisfied if Jeremiah and I were making love and only I came. And I'm sure I can speak for him as well.

Do women really want the same thing men supposedly want? To have satisfaction sexually without the attachments? Does it really really feel as good when you're not in love?

Or am I thinking entirely too much about a bloody Shirley Conran book published in the 80's?


Missy said...

I really need to think about this. I also think that Romance Novels for men would help the world considerably! LOL

steff said...

that's a tricky question, lady!
in my experience (and it really depends on the person) there are those who seemingly "need" sex soley for the physical release it provides and will seek it out as such. that's not to say that those same people don't enjoy the romance of getting intimate with someone they truly love. i don't think it's necessarily a man/woman thing. some women have very strong sex drives where they (much like the stereotype of men) desire just the pleasure of the act and not so much who it's with.
i'm pretty inhibited when it comes to stuff like that and need to have a emotional/intellectual/spiritual connection with someone before embarking on a physical one.
given that way of thinking i suppose that's why romance novels are still such a hot commodity!

diane said...

I think it depends on you. There are times in everyone's life that are sexier than others. That is why it's so complicated.

Mwa said...

I can't imagine it would be better without the love. Unless of course you have a liking for seedy or dangerous things - then yes. But I don't. So for me, no.

Mwa said...

Just so there is no misunderstanding: I'm not suggesting women who enjoy sex minus love all like seedy and dangerous things, or engage in them. I mean that if you like either, love would be a disadvantage. Just to be clear.

Erin said...

I've been mulling this question over since my husband returned from a camping trip with his guy friends and tells me the boys had an hour-long conversation about a certain sexual thing most of them have done, but which my husband and I have never done because it's gross. I don't imagine most women wanting to perform this particular thing and am wondering: Are there women out there doing things that make them uncomfortable in order to please their men sexually? Are these dudes just pigs? Were they lying?

Sam said...

I'm pretty sure this was a mini-series back in my day. When we only had three channels, mini-series were a big deal. :)

I think it starred Phoebe Cates. I loved her.

otherworldlyone said...

I've never read the book. It sounds...interesting.

Does it really feel as good when you're not in love? - I think it does.

Do women want to have satisfaction without attachements? - Yes. Some do.

Miss Yvonne said...

OMG, that book was my go-to for cheap thrills when my mom left me home alone to go play bridge when I was 12 years old. As soon as she was out the door, I was flipping through it looking for the dirty parts. Awesome.

Maggie May said...

well i'm not satisfied unless my partner ravishes me daily and makes me cum every single time.

and i'm alone. very, very, alone.


Maggie May said...

personally, it didn't feel as good without love.

that's just me though. my emotional and spiritual self are inexorably bound with my sexual self, so that when i am in love and loved, the sex is mind blowing in a way that cannot be duplicated without.