Tuesday, July 20, 2010

Not So Romantic Erin

Jeremiah and I are way behind on the HBO series True Blood. We watched the first season via Netflix last summer and are just now watching the second season.

Which means I can't sign on to either twitter or facebook on Sundays without being assaulted by True Blood plot killers.

I really want to keep watching the show, I like the sex. I like the violence. I like the plot mechanics.

I just hate the romantic talky talky bullshit.

And the strange fairytale Beauty and the Beast music that plays every time Bill and Sookie kiss.

Hate hate hate.

Jeremiah and I use the phrase 'Too much talky talky' at least 10 times during one episode. And it's usually when Sookie and Bill are having the same conversation they've had on the show a thousand times (there's only 10 episodes per season too!):

"Sookie, you have no idea what it is like to be a vampire."

"Oh Bill, you have no idea what it's like to be a telepath."

"Sookie, I'm not accustomed to living in these times."

"Oh Bill, you'll learn. You have a heart even though you're a vampire."

"Sookie, I'm different from all the other vampires."

"Oh Bill, you have a heart even though you're a vampire."

And so on and so on...for about 2-8 minutes. Then they passionately kiss and the music starts. This is going to be a totally random comparison but I swear the music is nearly the exact same music that plays at the end of Disney's Beauty and the Beast when the Beast turns into a Prince.

Then Sookie and Bill begin to do it and there are lots of shots of his butt and her tits, which is somehow supposed to make up for the 2-8 minutes of excruciatingly boring diatribe I had to do through to get to the sex.

But it doesn't.

I'd rather just watch them fighting bad guys and getting involved in more plot twists than watching them do it...again. Maybe I'm just turned off by the talking.

So much for my romantic side.


Logical Libby said...

Maybe you should switch to vampire pornos.

Mwa said...

I need that show on our TV. Like now.

Stephanie Meade Gresham said...


and.... they have vampire pornos??

Missy said...

I am not much for romantic stuff.

Tony said...

I really don't get the vampire crap. I tried watching that show once, and I honestly can't remember what happened. I remember seeing boobies and a lot of man butt...but that's about it.

Dr. Monkey Von Monkerstein said...

I'm sorry, were you saying something? I was too wrapped up in staring at Anna Paquin to hear you.

Ms. Moon said...

It's not romance. It's crap-written supposed-to-be romance. That's why you don't like it.

Megs said...

I can live without the romantic talky talk too. Also, interestingly, I could have lived with never seeing Anna Paquin's tits. But, its HBO. It wouldn't be HBO without unnecessary boobs.

Sadako said...

I've never seen the show but based on the one book I partly read, I can see why you'd want to avoid that. The sex scenes were so painfully written.

Miss Yvonne said...

The only good thing about watching Sookie and Bill talk is when Bill says "Sookeh", just like Elvis would. Awesome.

You know what would make True Blood better? More naked Eric. A lot more.


writer.elh@gmail.com said...

It sounds like you might need to find some action porn. Does that even exist? Now that I think of it, it's a very good idea. Action sequences, lots of hot sex and no talking. Hmmmm.

otherworldlyone said...

There's a lot less of that talky talky bullshit in the 2nd and 3rd seasons.

Don't worry.

P.S. - I've missed you, friend. :)

mylittlebecky said...

i just couldn't get into this show. we keep saying maybe we'll try it again.... can't decide.

Powdered Toast Man said...

At least you're not watching Twilight...lol

Brahm (alfred lives here) said...

Hysterical post!

Not sure I agree though, isnt the romantic stuff -- aka foreplay -- kind of important?

Love the show, start to end...

Sam said...

LOL! This is one of my favorite shows. In fact, my latest post is about seeing Charlaine Harris speak at Comic-Con.

I have never noticed the music. And I love all the parts that you love, but I don't think I mind the talky-talky. Now, of course, it will probably drive me bats. ;)