Saturday, September 5, 2009

Early Morning Urine Antics

I could just not get up this morning. When Jeremiah left for work he brought Elijah into our room and left him perched atop my chest.
And I don't want to mislead you with the word 'perch' considering my son is a GIANT and not birdlike in any way, shape or form.
Elijah spent the next 15 minutes bouncing on me and pinching my cheeks saying 'Momma' and 'Baba' (which is what he calls sippy cups) over and over again.


"What Elijah?" "Go get a truck and bring it to Momma."

"UnhhUhhhhh" "Ge Uh" (which means No, Get Up)

"Elijah, can't Momma sleep for two more minutes?"

"UnhhhUhhhh MOMMA!" "Baba" "Baba" "Baba" "Baba" "Baba" "Baba"

"Okay, Bub" "Let me go pee and we'll go get a Baba"

"UNHHHHUHHHH" He strangely latches on to my neck and holds tight. I think he wants me to immeadiately carry him downstairs?

"Elijah, I have to pee, let me go!"

"Pee" And he points at his wee wee.

"You have to pee?"

"Pee" He points again.

"Ok, big boy let's go." I put him on the potty and tell him to hold his wee wee down and pee. He won't hold it down. He starts to pee all over the floor in front of him. When I try to help him he panicks, like he knows what to do and I'm ruining it.

"Yay!!!!!!" He was so proud of himself. I was too, but I had to clean up his pee, get him dressed all before I got to pee....which was painful by this point. So I put him outside the bathroom, into the hall and sit down to pee without getting him dressed or cleaning up the pee yet. I must have been so incredibly foggy of mind to do this, cause I should have saw what was going to happen.

Elijah runs back into the bathroom, slips across the floor on his pee and lands flat on his back in the pee, hitting his head. He's now covered in pee, screaming and potentially concussed.

After I comfort him and make sure he's not seriously injured I realize that we're both covered in urine. At least it was baby urine and not adult urine. That fact was comforting and I'm not sure why. I've never been covered in adult urine, or had to deal with it anywhere other than the toilet...where the extent of dealing with it was flushing...

Anyways, by the time we were both cleaned up and all of our pee soaked clothing gathered up for the wash, I was wide awake. He started down the stairs and I got dressed upstairs and when I got downstairs I was greeted by this sight:

A very delightful and hilarious day already, and it's only 8:30 am.


Dr. Monkey said...

Too funny. I hope no one was injured in the making of this post. ;0)

Ms. Moon said...

oh my god! The FUN you young mothers get to have. And the fun we old mothers get to have, reading about it and thinking, "Glad that part of my life is done with."
That's a cute boy. A very, very cute boy. Which is a good thing.

ladytruth said...

The shoes are super cute on him and that face! I just want to squeeze his cheeks and put him in my pocket :)

Prunella Jones said...

Dang, that pic of your little guy with his sweet beaming face was cute enough to make my ovaries throb. Then I read the post and ....they quickly settled down. ;b

Chief said...

At least you didn't slip in the pee and fall on your butt!

Yellow Trash Diaries said...

And people wonder why we look so exhausted by 3 pm.

John Pender said...

That's hilarious! Glad it wasn't you that slipped. The bigger they are, the harder they fall, right? :)
Composting grosses you out? You really are weird. ;p

Vic said...

You are so funny! (and HE is adorable.)

By the way, I was just trying to figure out why you aren't on my blog roll. So I checked on my dashboard. No Erin. Hmmm.

Now that I'm here, I see I'm not on your follower list. How did that happen??? I could have SWORN I was following you. Seriously.
I'm losing it. (Going to fix that now.)

By the way #2, I'd be happy to help out anytime,if you wanted, but I really love your header picture. I always have. Maybe someday you could put something behind it or something?.....

Anonymous said...

Baby urine is better to slip in than adult urine??? I'll make sure that when I have parties I only invite babies then.......

Funny story!

Mwa said...

Yeah, the urine. Still, better than the poo.

Unknown Mami said...

Wow! That's like a slapstick routine you both had going there.

Linda and her Twaddle said...

Oh, I do recallhow an innocent little event (bouncing on mummy) can lead to slipping over in pee and screaming.

That boy is cute. I love that age. Pink cheeked smiles.

mo.stoneskin said...

Hilarious dialogue, if it can be called that! My baby says one word, "dog", which is accompanied with the baby sign for dog. She calls everyone "dog", which is efficient, but not particularly accurate.

Sam said...

Hey, don't knock being covered in adult urine 'til you've tried it. It's not for everyone, but it can be special.

But not as special as your pee-covered morning. Rise and shine! :)

Magpie said...

Heel highs!

Twinkie said...

Oh man... I thought you were gonna say that he wasn't done yet, so he proceeded to poop while waiting for you or something... hahaha either way, LOVE that picture.