Friday, September 18, 2009

blemishes and lost promises

Can someone take these photos and get rid of the wrinkles and blemishes that are all over my dumb face and then send them back to me? Please? I'm so mad at my model, which is also me. How am I supposed to peddle my wares like this!!!???


o


Also, could someone find the person who is letting their dog shit in my yard and pummel them a wee bit?
I watched the kids walk down the slightly sloping front lawn to the sidewalk on their way to the bus stop with a big smile on my face. The air is brisk, the morning went relatively smooth and my children were happy and jaunty. About five steps out of the house Olivia slips in a giant pile of shit.
Luckily, I only had to change her shoes and not her clothes. But I'm still pissed as hell. And she was crying the whole way to the bus stop.

Also I'm thinking we should start a book club. And by we I'm talking about you. And you. And you. Everyone.
It seems like all my bright ideas just end up kind of shitty in the end though.
Remember when I wanted everyone to post about a strange encounter? Nobody did that.

Or when I told Becky (regarding this post) that:

"BloggerChuck is almost funnier than Jeremiah. Al-most.

I don't have a really great memory...I'm not really sure what Jeremiah even looks like right now...so I don't think I could recount all of our conversations on my blog for your enjoyment. Let it suffice to say that he is funny."

And then she said:

"erin- we should have a contest to see who's funnier! i text myself when he says funny things so i can remember."

And then I said:

"Becky! We really should! I'll start writing that shit down yo!

And then we'll have a giveaway for one of my hats and everyone who votes on who's funnier, Chuck or Jeremiah, gets a entry in the giveaway!"

Yeah...that never happened either.


25 comments:

Dr. Monkey Von Monkerstein said...

Quit complaining, your model is hot. And I mean it. She's gorgeous.

lizzie lou said...

yeah, shut up erin - you look like you're about sixteen, lovely as can be!

diane said...

You are sooo pretty! Ugh, one day you'll look back at these photos and think "god, didn't I look great?".
That totally sucks about Olivia's "sh*tty" morning. Poor dear girl.
You know how you don't keep "dates" with your friend? I have a friend like that too. We totally say we're going to do stuff and then never do. When we were kids, I could just run over to her house anytime, like in the middle of a recipe and ask her to taste what was on the spoon. Now she lives two hours away, but I'm the one who moved. I should totally give her a call.

Prunella Jones said...

You are indeed adorable, but if you want someone to photoshop you...well, you know how much I enjoy that. I'll sass you up, baby!

P.S. Although my ideas of fixing up a photo may differ slightly from yours.

Prunella Jones said...

Oh yeah, and may I say you are one strong woman? If I had a kid who jumped in shit I would probably pass out.

j-face said...

yeah!... and a "mom." remember?

Ms. Moon said...

You are darling and that is that.
I would like a book club.

mylittlebecky said...

but- but- but... that was only MONDAY! you need to start writing jerisms down and THEN we'll throw them in the ring together.

book club? yes! i'm reading wicked. pleased to start and then we will discuss.

erin said...

@everyone!::!:
I wasn't fishing for compliments. I don't think I'm all that unattractive...I just have horrible pimples and new wrinkles. But thank you.

@Pru: You can do what you want to my photos, but I need them to be showing the actual colors of the headband/earwarmers... I can't really change the photos for my shop that much.

@Ms.Moon: Right now I'm reading Charlotte Bronte's Villette (the only work by the Bronte sisters I have yet to read), Beasts by Joyce Carol Oates and The Book of Air and Shadows by Michael Gruber. There was once upon a time that I would finish all these books in a week, now it takes me over a month.

erin said...

@Becky: I've already read Wicked. We can discuss anytime you want.

mo.stoneskin said...

A few years back my wife and I were enjoying an Autumn walk, rustling through the fallen leaves etc. Suddenly my wife slipped, she was wearing flip-flops and had stepped in the largest turd imaginable, it had been hiding under some leaves. It went everywhere, to this day I cringe to think of it.

Sally-Sal said...

I think you are absolutely gorgeous. And those headbands make you look adorable. :)

Twinkie said...

I have an online book club I started here:

http://www.masbakersfield.com/search/node/mas%20book%20club

I don't get a lot of comments but it generates a lot of hits and private emails to me for some reason? LOL

Anyways... love reading and love discussing.

Technogran said...

I'm in a book club at Shelfarani. And your skin is gorgeous, so don't know why you want the pics changing...

Flubtastic Doofalo said...

Yeah, you're pretty. You know it.

I haven't seen my neighbor, Mr. Wonderful, in a couple days. Maybe he took his poop-factory dog on a tour and stopped by your house.

Mwa said...

I'd love a book club.
People let dogs do their business all over our kids playpark over here. NOT nice either.
You should get a camera and catch them at it.

Petit fleur said...

Bella mia!

You must be kidding me! Youe face is poetry. You are a beautiful radiant young woman...

I know it seems like a zit is a mountain and everyone is noticing it... I get that... trust me, I STILL at 46 am prone to cystic acne...but I am telling you, I had to squint to even see what you were talking about! You probably notice more that anyone.

I would love to join your book club, only I don't read so fast... if you can live with that, I'm in.

I do have an announcement to make though that I feel is VERY IMPORTANT. If the movie "Under Our Skin" comes to your town, tell everyone you know to see it. It's about Lyme disease. I have had it for 3 years and know that every bit of this expose it absolutely true. I've been living it. *I know I'm off point here, but every one needs to be armed with this info... and since I care about you, I'm telling you and your readers.

Later Bella,
pf

Prosy said...

I was JUST wishing I had a book club last night! Freaky!! I want in...

Sam said...

I would do the book club.

And, to quote an article about Elizabeth McGovern (you're too young to even remember her, but she was a big deal when I was a teenager) that I read in the '80s, "Except for a few girlish blemishes, she has skin a butterfly would skid on." I've never forgotten that amazing line. It made "girlish blemishes" sound like something you want to pursue with targeted products.

And it totally applies here.

ladytruth said...

You really shouldn't berate yourself so much; these days my skin is hidden under loads and loads of paint ... eh sorry ... make-up thanks to an outbreak. There should, by the way, be a law against outbreaks after 24. Bloody hell.

As for the bookclub: that sounds like a fun idea! Count me in :)

Chris@Maugeritaville said...

I can't do anything about wrinkles or blemishes, but put me down for getting rid of that pesky dog.

Unknown Mami said...

Shut the hell up! I don't want to hear it. You are adorable. I'm right, you are wrong.

John Pender said...

I'm going to post about my strange encounter, just haven't done it yet. I'm waiting till my domain name transfers over to my new hosting service so you can actually read it. I'm not using Blogger anymore.

Sally-Sal said...

Do you still make the fingerless gloves?

Little Ms Blogger said...

Ohhhhh...I thought I was in a bad place with the obnoxious barking dog next door - stepping in dog poop is

UGHHHHHHHHH...how can people walk their pets, but not take ownership?

Btw, I don't see the wrinkles...I think you need glasses instead.