Wednesday, February 17, 2010

Facebook nonsense and a Dire Warning

Warning to all Moms and Stepmoms or anyone even vaguely related to me:
I swear a lot and use some gross terms during this course of this post...please refrain from reading if you think you might be offended.


A friend of mine is always on facebook while he's at work. Although he's online he's much too busy to chat, so I just randomly text him on and off all day long.
Here are some of my very one sided conversations:

Erin

I'm a wee bit bored.

sell anything today?

i'll just pretend we're talking. It will be fun. Ready?

Joe: what's up my darling Erin Friend, the cutest and funniest girl in the history of girl?

Erin: Nothing much here Joey. Just made the little kids some lunch. Checking my email, writing a pattern.

Joe: Wow. You have such an awesome and interesting life. I'm so jealous of you and wish I could be more like you.

Erin: I know, I know. It's ok. Everyone aspires to be like me, but not everyone can reach such great heights.



Erin

douche


douche


douche


joey joey why are you so douchey????? why oh why?




Erin

You don't have a kitchen in your new house? Jeremiah just told me.

you shouldn't eat out all the time, it's bad for you.

(that's what she said).




Erin

I talked to your mom today and she told me you she caught you giving your dog head.
You were 16. Remember that? I bet you do.




Erin

fired.

I'm calling your boss and telling him to check your computer for porn.

Kitty porn.





Erin

DickBrain

AssSucker

FartHead

Joey

cumguzzler

Erin

he lives!

19 comments:

Tony said...

Yay, the power of text messaging. I did that all last week to a bunch of people. I think they hate me now though.

Steam Me Up, Kid said...

BACK! THE FUCK! UP!

More on the giving the dog head please.

So hot right now.

MJenks said...

Wait, he got caught giving the dog head, and yet HE has the audacity to call you a cumguzzler?

Joey, you need to take a long, hard look at yourself in the mirror.

Logical Libby said...

Joey does know he can turn off the chat function on Facecbook, right? I mean, no offense, but he does know that, right?

erin said...

Tony: If someone was texting me all day long I'd be pleased as a plum.

Beckerino: I totally made that part up. Not so hot now eh? ha

MJenks: I wonder if he reads this and thinks it's funny or gets mad. Maybe he won't read it?

Libby: I bet hald the time he doesn't even read my texts. Even though I think I'm pretty funny. Hilarious also. Exciting and Wonderful as well?

Jules said...

I wish my job let me play on Facebook and text all day.............

I need a new job.

Nanc Twop said...

'Everyone aspires to be like me' -

Alas, tis true - now where can I get the latest edition of your FB Nonsense & Dire Warnings handbook?...

;-)

John Pender said...

I wish I could work from home so I could text message my friends all day.
You are too funny. :)

Angela Christensen said...

Nice one.

michelle said...

You dirty girl!

hee hee

otherworldlyone said...

I love this side of you, Erin! I'm all excited now.

I love texting people that don't text back. It's awesome.

P.S. - I played you a little song on my vlog.

diane said...

Sooooo, did he block you on facebook yet?

Forever your girl said...

I am totally going to start doing this right now... my first hit is a friend in florida

kara said...

was this some sort of new wave haiku?

Carolyn...Online said...

Oh man... I didn't even know it until right now that I want to be like you too.

All this time and I never knew.

Sam said...

As much as I love receiving texts, this little exchange makes me a bit glad you're not texting me. :)

Amanda said...

Texting = love. What did we do before texting I wonder?

mo.stoneskin said...

Hilarious stuff. With a bit of persistence you could drive him mad!

Ally said...

Cute post!

Geez, I thought only my friends and I talked to each other this way. It's very refreshing to know we're not alone. Thanks for sharing that with us, you filthy, dirty slutty- slut ho bag. Ha ha, that means I like you and you are officially my friend :)

Tales Of A Fourth Grade Nothing