I swear a lot and use some gross terms during this course of this post...please refrain from reading if you think you might be offended.
A friend of mine is always on facebook while he's at work. Although he's online he's much too busy to chat, so I just randomly text him on and off all day long.
Here are some of my very one sided conversations:
I'm a wee bit bored.
sell anything today?
i'll just pretend we're talking. It will be fun. Ready?
Joe: what's up my darling Erin Friend, the cutest and funniest girl in the history of girl?
Erin: Nothing much here Joey. Just made the little kids some lunch. Checking my email, writing a pattern.
Joe: Wow. You have such an awesome and interesting life. I'm so jealous of you and wish I could be more like you.
Erin: I know, I know. It's ok. Everyone aspires to be like me, but not everyone can reach such great heights.
joey joey why are you so douchey????? why oh why?
You don't have a kitchen in your new house? Jeremiah just told me.
you shouldn't eat out all the time, it's bad for you.
(that's what she said).
I talked to your mom today and she told me you she caught you giving your dog head.
You were 16. Remember that? I bet you do.
I'm calling your boss and telling him to check your computer for porn.