Wednesday, October 1, 2008


Max has really gone too far with this non-pottying thing. Just go on the frugging potty already you little tiny tyrant! I know it's a control thing, it's a no longer mommy's baby thing, it's a rebellion thing, but today it was a just plain disgusting mess thing.

We found Max upstairs practically covered from head to toe in her own feces today. She was in time out upstairs for refusing to let me get her dressed, and then in for more time out for refusing to pick up her dress up clothes. I came upstairs after leaving her alone for 10 minutes and was assaulted by a incredibly horrible odor. I knew she had pooped, but I didn't realize that she would poop and play in it and smear it all over her room. By all over her room I mean ALL OVER IT too. All over the carpet, all over her sister's bed (not hers) all over toys, stuffed animals, the walls and get this-the curtains. She also tried to put poop in the toilet (too little too late kiddo) and got poop all over the bathroom floor, toilet and tiled walls. I was shocked. Jeremiah was shocked. Her siblings were shocked. It was the last straw in our battle for toilet supremacy over Maxine Jane. I've tapped out on this battle. She can wear diapers for the rest of her life.


Mindi will know my aversion to poop, which started at a very young age. I think we were about 16 or 17 when I told her I would make a deal with the devil and have my period all the time in return for never having to poop again. It's just so gross. It stinks, it stains, it looks gross. This is the real curse put upon us by God, not the menstrual cycle. And the wisdom in my thought process is that we're all being punished, not just women. Men, women, girls, boys and babies. But most of all me. The Poop Queen. The Disposer Of All Things Poopy. Overrun by Poop. My thoughts are constantly assailed by visions of cleaning babies asses.

Someone please help me.

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