After my magazine debut at Studio Thirty Plus, I got a few emails (ok, just one) about how it was possible that I have a ten year old daughter. I am assuming the emailer was referring to my totally young looking appearance! Which is nice...and will be nicer once I'm 37 and someone is telling me I look to young to be ten year old Elijah's mother.
It might be hard to believe that I was doggedly attempting to do course work while half asleep and worrying about inverted nipples while you were attempting to do course work while hungover and doing shots of slippery nipples, but it's true nonetheless and here is the proof, my ten year old daughter, Rosey:
So now at almost 30 I'm starting to have doubts about if I'm up to the task of parenting an older child. I know I'm a kick ass Baby and Toddler and Kid Momma, but Pre-teen and Teen? I spent nearly a ten minutes picking out her first deodorant at the store the other day. Jeremiah was more patient with me than usual.
"I'm sure whatever you pick will be fine, Baby. Just relax."
She's started straightening her hair at her Dad's house and came home last night from the long weekend with her Dad with the remnants of eye shadow and eyeliner on. I noticed it while I was cleaning out the suitcase the girls take to their Dad's house:
"Rosey, are you wearing makeup?"
"Oh, well it looks like it. Jeremiah, doesn't it look like she's wearing makeup?"
"Mom! I had a sleepover at a friends house and we did makeovers!"
"And you haven't washed your face since then?"
"Go get in the shower and use one of my face scrubbies while you're in there."
"Do I have to?"
She pouted for the rest of the night, but not disruptively so. I was putting all the kids to bed later and kissing them all goodnight when she started waxing the philosophical at me. I usually kiss and hug her last, because she stays up later than the other kids and is allowed to read, watch t.v. or play the DS:
"Mom, do you know that Carrie (her Dad's girlfriend) has lots of friends?"
"No, Rosey I didn't know that, I don't really know Carrie."
"Why don't you have any friends?"
"I don't have much time for friends, really. I guess. I have Mindi. And Jeremiah."
"Mindi lives far away."
"True, but I can talk to her when I need to. You kids and Jeremiah are all I need for friends."
"I don't think it's the same thing... cause friends know each other. I don't think anyone really knows you, except for Jeremiah. I don't really know what you are like for real." She's kind of rambling on and whiny here.
"Honey, I don't understand. What do you mean?"
"Never mind, Momma. Sorry, I'm not sure what I'm talking about. Good night."
What I stopped myself from saying to her immediately was, 'Nobody really knows their parents', but is that true? And is that the type of relationship I want to have with my children?
I'm not sure where Rose is coming from with her thoughts from last night. I know she's had issues with spending all of her time with me from the time she was born to the change of being with her Dad almost half the time. And she's told me before that she's had to get used to sharing me with Jeremiah because her Dad and I never had much of a relationship...but this feels different.
Do you have any opinions about the conversation I had with Rosey? Or how I should approach it with her again? Or if I should just not worry about it? Fill me up with some thoughts not my own!!!