Wednesday, July 29, 2015

She's Leaving Home

When my sister was little she seemed consistently pissed off. She seemed to me to be always pouting, moody, sleepy, competitive.  And I was joyous, buoyant, flighty and hyper. Put those huge differences in personality plus our seven year age difference and we were sure to never get along. 

I know all about sisters. My mom has three that she is extremely close with and although not as close my dad has two sisters. And my grandma had had no less than five or six. I never paid attention enough to keep count. But from a young age I felt I would never be close with my sister. Kate and I were as different as night and day and as a teenager and a young woman I didn't give her the time of day.

But then my grandma got sick. I never knew I needed my siblings so much until I actually really needed them and they needed me to support each other through the worst time of our lives. 

And that's when I fell in love with Kate. She knew how awkward and uncomfortable I had become as an adult and we were suddenly totally transparent with each other. She forced me to come out of my shell and helped me to leave hermit mode and have some semblance of an adult life outside of my role as a mother and I vowed to her I would be there for her as I should have always been. 

The last three years of my life have been fuller because of her and her friendship. Her dimpled smile is contagious. Her loyalty makes me proud to be her sister. Our conversation makes me wish I had spent more time with her when we were children and younger adults. 

And now she's moving eight hours away from me. I've been as supportive as I could possibly be and am totally cognizant of the fact we will always be close but still I will miss her. I will miss her hugs and our random shopping trips. I will miss being able to convey my thoughts and feelings with one glance her way. I will miss watching movies with her and I will miss more than anything laying lazily with her in the sun basking as much in the warmth of the day as on her adorable dimpled smile. 

All of the memes and sayings are truer than true, when you have a sister you have a friend for life. My true friend, a woman who knows my heart, shares my history and genetics and knows everything about everything I've ever done. 

And she's leaving home...and me.


1 comment:

Mwa said...

That's terrible! I love my sister. We used to be pretty much enemies growing up as well. Now we live about half an hour away from each other, which I think is too far. Maybe you will develop a deep and meaningful Skype relationship. Or go for long long visits. It will work out!