Friday, January 6, 2012

When the Short People begat Giants the Sixth Sign was Revealed

Jeremiah and I are not very tall people. He is around 5'8" if that and I am under 5'3".

We also happen to have very tall children. Granted, three of these children do not belong to me and Jeremiah, they belong to me and my 6'5'' ex husband BUT

...this is my blog and I'll go with whatever fucking logic I want so go jump out a window or something ridiculous like that.

Or don't, which would be fine as well. Better yet maybe you shouldn't jump out a window at all, I think it would be better for both of us if you didn't do that. OK? OK.

Regardless my point is that I have this weird future vision of Jeremiah and I standing at one of our kids' graduation parties or proms, insert family occasion here, surrounding by four giants. Lovely, beautiful giants but giants nonetheless.

Our pediatrician likes to makes guesses on her patients' adult heights and rewards herself when she's right. (Talk about a long term gambling problem) So the other day she took her turn at guessing my kids' adult heights. (Also she gives herself a 2 inch leeway which is bullshit)

Rosey, my eldest daughter got the most specific height 5'8''-5'9''. She'll supposedly be our smallest child...more than 6 inches taller than me.

Olive, (who will be 9 years old on Sunday!) will be 6'0''-6'2''. And actually I might guess taller considering she has two aunts taller than that on her dad's side and she's built just like them.

Maxine Jane who was very underweight and under height (is that even a term?) for the first five years of her life consistently is now approaching giant status with gusto. She will be 5'9''-5'11''.

Elijah will be in the same approximate height category as Olive, 6'0''-6'2''.

Wouldn't it be crazy if I had birthed and raised a gaggle of super models!? I'm not sure if that's the lifestyle I would want my children to lead but hell! They might all be naturally very thin and won't have to do uppers and coke all the time to maintain their weights. Maybe they could all be those natural type thin people like Gwyneth who eat macrobiotic raw foods and do yoga and pilates.

What do you think?


6 comments:

.........my messy girlfriend said...

you got a very cute family:)!!!

Cal's Canadian Cave of Coolness said...

They will be ginourmous and rule the world while looking down on all us short people.

Logical Libby said...

My kid is already close to my height. Yes, she's adopted, but it still freaks me out.

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Lance said...

your kids are adorable...

we're a blended family too. My wife is 5'9" and I'm 5'8". Our teenage daughter (16) is not from my DNA but she has topped out at 5'1"...she's a heck of a high school cheerleader. But my 8 yr old (my dna) and our 7 yr old (her DNA) will be 5'9" or more. It;s funny to see how they're growing.