I finished watching Mad Men Season One Episode Nine, put the finishing touches on an order and packaged it, turned out all of the lights, locked all of the windows and doors and made my way up to bed.
I went into each of the kids' rooms and checked that each one of them was sleeping comfortably, brushed my teeth and washed my face. Jeremiah had fallen asleep watching TV in a swath of sheets in our gameroom and I hated to wake him so I had the whole bed to myself. After sharing a bed on and off with various small beast like children I finally have a no kid bed.
I laid down in bed, set the alarm on my phone and carefully placed it under Jeremiah's pillow and turned on the TV. I tossed and turned, flipping restlessly through the channels. Ancient Aliens? No.
Scarface? Again? Really? How many times can one watch Scarface?
Teen Mom? Fuck you.
I got out of bed, got a glass of water, turned on the lamp and set my laptop up to watch more Mad Men in bed.
Maxine Jane starts screaming bloody murder from her room. I run in to find her on the floor, wrapped and writhing in layers of sheets.
"Max! What happened? And why do you have so many sheets?"
"I was cold and I went into Rosey's room and then in the closet and got more sheets."
"Max, there's a whole pile of blankeys next to your bed, within your grasp for that reason!"
Why am I arguing with a six year old at 2:00 AM?
"OK Baby, back in bed."
After folding the many sheets Max had thieved from various rooms around our house, tucking her in with her own blankeys, getting her a drink and kissing and hugging her goodnight many times, I finally am ready to get back in bed. Put away the laptop and realize my Kindle is downstairs. Go get Kindle, see lights flashing in front of the house. The police are across the street and down three houses where there have been many numerous incidents before. Mostly a couple and their drunken friends fighting over indecipherable topics. I become entranced with the hullabaloo, unable to leave my perch at the front window.
The police disband and I go back to bed. Forgot my Kindle again, decide to try and force myself to sleep with complete dark. End up getting extra pillows from the linen closet and lining them up all around my body. Fall asleep almost immediately, enclosed in a pillow fence, just like as if I had any of my loved ones in bed with me. So much for loving the freedom of a no kids bed.
Wake up to Maxine perched beside me on the pillow to my left.
"Momma? Why do you have all these pillows in your bed?"
"I don't know Max, why did you have all the sheets in your bed last night?"