A Special Thanks AND an Update-ish Thingy

I wanted to say thank you so very much to all the people who commented and emailed me about my last post. It means a lot to me and is so very appreciated.

A special thank you to my kind of boss Jules from Mean Girl Garage for her support.

and

To Logical Libby, the Libster herself, for thinking of me.

and of course

to my B.I.F. Beckerino from Steam Me Up Kid for being kind of less douchey to me lately. I said less, but she's still a complete tool.

My grandmother has stabilized for the moment, but because she can not survive without the transfusions, she could pass away any day. My heart aches and I'm not sure why I can't feel better.

Getting back to some work this week has helped, but of course in my rush to fill my mind with something other than mucky, murky sadness, I double booked all of my time and I've now been working straight through everyday. Jeremiah has been a saint taking over the child stuff. Now if only he could type 80 plus words per minute so I could take a nap.
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I did, however, get back to writing for Sprocket Ink this week and regaled the site with some interesting information on philandering politicians who like to embarrass their families by spreading their seed...over and over again. Check my pieces there and all the other hilarious writers work as well!

As I mentioned before my grandmother has been a very integral part of my life and I've written about her before, if you would like to revisit those posts and see a little bit about this great woman I'm currently losing to death, have at it.

Breakfast Memories

Not so Funny Story About My Grandma

This is one of my favorite photos of my grandma, she bopped me over the head with the pictured wand after I shot the photo of her, mad that I had snuck a photo. But you can see in her face she's not really mad...

They Tell Me My Grandmother is Dying

My grandmother announced last week that she is right with God and wants to stop receiving the blood transfusions that are keeping her alive. Within a day of hearing this, shaking it off and assuming she'd change her mind, she was entering a hospice and had met with her children and her doctor about DNR's, morphine and just how long she might live. The prognosis was not good, no more than a few weeks.

Despite all this very logical and purely factual information, I'm operating under the belief that she will not die, that her body will miraculous overcome the rare and supposedly fatal blood disorder her genetics have so cruelly bestowed upon her. Jeremiah seems worried about me, about how I feel, about how this type of thinking is harmful to me and to the kids.

The girls have thankfully been at their Dad's house all weekend. Jeremiah, Elijah, Rosey, Olivia, Maxine and I met my ex husband at the hospice on Friday night so the girls could visit Grandma in case she would die over the weekend. Rosey was so brave, laid in bed with Grandma for a very long time, crying silently. Olivia was not so brave, but you can't really blame her. She was inconsolable and even chocolate cookies couldn't cheer her up. Her Dad finally carried her away in a bundle of tears, red splotches and snot covered red tangles. It was strange watching him walk away from that place, carrying that tall, limby 8 year old like a little baby.

Maxine said, "Bye Grandma Bert. Can we leave yet?" She was pleased, however, that my Momma gave her cookies, cheez doodles and pop in the hospice's family room/kitchen area. Just writing this made me cry more than watching Olive in the throes of despair, my Grandmother should have been in the family room feeding Maxine junk with her own hands like a mother bird and a baby bird. This woman literally fed me my lunch until I was 13, would rock me in her lap when I was bigger than her. She's not very old for a great grandmother, just turned 75 on March 4th. Her mother in law was a 100 when she died, still gardened almost until the very end, that of course has nothing to do with my Grandma Bert. Her genetics are tainted by the very early deaths of both of her own parents.

I know I should be glad I've had all this time with her, I know I should be glad that she was there when I was born (and missed Bingo that night too!), I know I should be glad that she was there when Rose was born 11 years ago today (Happy Birthday Rosey!), I should be glad that I got to sing her so many songs, I should be glad that she and I slept together in the same bed and talked for hours on end, I should be glad she was there to talk to when Maxine had colic, or wasn't gaining weight. When I think of my Grandmother, I see her with one of my new babies in her arms, swaddling them tight against her and humming to them in her strange guttural tones. Or waking the baby up so she could see their eyes open, peeling off their clothes and running her painted fingernails across their tummies, just waiting to gaze into their eyes.

Right now I am sitting in her rocking chair, which my Pappy Jack gave her when I was born. "Every Grandma should have a rocking chair." I'm going to ask my Momma if I can have the photo of her rocking me in that chair.

If my Grandmother ever dies, of course. I'm fairly certain she will not.

The Strange Things People Say to Me...

Going to weddings or even doing brave things like leaving the house for more than a walk around the neighborhood might be a big part of other people's daily existences, but is certainly not part of my life. My fun outings consist of walking to the post office or taking a drive with Jeremiah to get groceries.

So last weekend attending a rehearsal dinner, staying at a stranger's house, spending the day with more strangers and then attending a wedding and reception freaking blew my mind. I also came to realize that people say the strangest things to me. Maybe I look like the type of person who won't be offended, or maybe I look like a good secret keeper? Regardless of why, here are some things that were said to me last weekend.

"OH MY GOD! You're 30? I thought for sure you were no older than 28!" -drunk girl at our reception table of people the Bride and Groom didn't want anywhere near them

"You do have that extra Mom padding back there, good for you!" -older women who befriended me at the wedding, remarking about how I look too young to have four kids


"You're not married? Well honey, if he ain't asked you yet, no way he's going to." -evil 2nd cousin of the bride's 2nd cousin

"Oh yeah, but it's no big deal. Some men don't want to get married to women who have kids already." -another evil cousin


"What's your name again? You're seriously my best friend and the coolest person I've ever met." -drunk groomsman

"You don't do shots? Fucking pussy."-same drunk groomsman

Also, one other weird thing, we went to bed much, much earlier than everyone else that came back to the Bride and Groom's house with us. They were up till dawn doing God know what, but I know it included Heavy D and the Boys and the Charles and Charge TV theme. The next morning I heard the drunk groomsman mentioned above stumble into the bathroom. I happened to look at my phone for the time right after he started peeing. I was laying back down with Jeremiah when I realized that the dude was still peeing! I looked at my phone and two minutes had past. Then I was totally enraptured. Two minutes might not seem like a long time, but time how long you pee next time and compare. He continued peeing for an astounding 4 minutes and 24 seconds. He also grunted ALOT. Poor fellow.

This is How We Do it....

If you've been keeping up with this site you'll have noticed two things:

1: I'm a total bummer and a whiny turd headed turd. I spent the last two months complaining about going to a wedding, which was this past weekend, and ended up having a pretty good time. Illustrated by my extremely red cheeks:

And no, I don't drink. That's the hilarious thing.

2: My posts have been sporadic and uninspired.

It's because I entered the world of grown-ups finally and have gotten a bunch of paying jobs to supplement our family's income. I'm writing and editing for three sites and working as a transcriber for two marketing companies on top of that.

Oh yeah, I'm still running my site Dork Designs! Be sure to check that out as well. I've had some pretty happy and adorable customers lately. Jen from My Tornado Alley ordered her daughters handmade bunnies for Easter bunnies and loved them! Read all about the bunnies and their journey here: A box of bunnies.

And although not this best photo ever here is my darling Meg, Libby's daughter wearing one of the tees from the Dork Designs shop:


Yes, that is a giant photo. Enjoy every pixel of cuteness.

Finally Maxine Jane turned six years old on Thursday...I was working immediately before the party and Jeremiah was in charge of making sure she was dressed appropriately for the gala (which included myself, Jeremiah, our kids and my parents, so not very gala-ish). This is what she ended up wearing:



Aside from all of that jazz, I'm also writing for Sprocket Ink! I'll have posts going up every Tuesday and Friday, but also just take a chance to peruse the site and read some other pieces, everyone is doing a great job over there and are uber entertaining.