What a beautiful day today! Oops, I forgot to water the flowers last night. Shit.

Oh well, they'll live. Or will they?

Jeremiah and I have netflix delivered and netflix instant movies via Roku Digital Video Player on our beautiful fancy t.v. And yet, with endless movies at our fingertips we still end up flipping back and forth between Anthony Bourdain and Futurama. Then after that hour long excitement and even though I wasn't tired, we went to bed at 11pm and watched Forensic Files.
Can you get much more boring?

It was odd last night, because usually I'm pretty content with our boring evenings. I relax, read, we watch a movie, Jeremiah practices his guitar, it's all pretty nice.

So what was the missing piece last night? I'm considering blaming either the weather or the season in general.
Yesterday was a beautiful day and last night was just as lovely. It makes me feel like I should be on the beach, or hiking, or lying on a raft on a lake...
But to look at the scenario fairly, on vacation Jeremiah and I probably would have ended up watching Bourdain and Bender and Forensic Files restlessly regardless of where we were. Or we would be lying uncomfortably in a very air conditioned hotel room careful not to move unnecessarily due to our third degree sunburn watching Bourdain, Bender and the files of forensicness. It's all relative, I suppose.

Since I still haven't gotten any blog responses to the crap I sent people, I will end this post with a little piece of adorable cuteness, taped this winter.

Happy Father's Day and Lizzie Loo Whoo.

I'll start today's post with a shout out to all the babee's daddee's out there yo!

What I mean is I would like to thank all the fathers in my life...for you know, fathering good and stuff.

To My Daddy:

Thanks for being the best dad ever. It's pretty simple. And even though I wouldn't be who I am today without you, don't blame yourself. ;)
My parents were young parents and I was a huge surprise. Considering that, I think they handled it well and I had a wonderful childhood.

To My Ex:
We don't get along and we made a mess of things, but thanks for my darling girls. And thanks for working with me and sharing their lives. I would have hated to have been separated from either of my parents had they been divorced.

To Jeremiah's Dad, Dave:
You were obviously an excellent dad to have helped inject Jeremiah with such character (and startling good looks). Thank You.

And last, but certainly not least! To Jeremiah, the best man I've ever known, the best Poppa there could ever be:

You've surprised me from the first day you met my daughters, and I know they love you as much as I do (if that's even possible). But what really surprised me was how much you adore our son. I didn't think that any other two people in the world could have a connection like you and I do, but it obviously shows with you and Elijah. Great Job Jeremiah! Happy Father's Day!


And now to end this post. You may or may not remember my threat, I mean promise, to send out random things from a bag of junk I had collected up from around my house. Some brave souls took me up on this offer and I sent out junk the other day.

Liz is the first person to post about said junk, and I was actually touched by her post. She seems like such a good soul and such an honest person, I am honored to count her as one of my blogging friends.

Bored Kids are meaner than Rabid Racoons

The first week of having my kids all to myself and not having to share them with the school system has been a fail so far. Mainly because of the cold rainy conditions, also because of all the cleaning and arranging I've been doing around the house.

Yesterday we went on a walk around the neighborhood and I realized that I hear one phrase from strangers repeated over and over again all the time. I don't usually pay that much attention, just smile and nod my head or make some sort of generic comment...but yesterday it dawned on me the repetition I hear on a daily basis.

So we're coming back up our hill after meandering partway down on this neat labyrinth of overgrown side streets and alleys that we love to walk on and we see two men talking and playing with a puppy on the corner of our street.

The kids go nuts cause we're coming up to this puppy and I'm warily looking at the men. First I notice they look amazingly like sea captains of some sort. You know, like the guys on The Deadliest Catch (which I obsessed over last year!)...long beards, old t-shirts, fanny packs, jeans and work boots. They're both talking very loudly and as we're coming closer I realize the older of the two men has a heavy irish brogue! WHAT?! The kids are suckers for puppies, but I love an accent. It instantly makes the person interesting, regardless of how shady and dirty they first seemed.

We amble up and the man without the accent, and definitely the cleaner looking of the two, but still not to be trusted...no accent duh, says that the kids can pet the puppy. He's a very nice little poodle mix puppy, I'm no fan of animals but it seemed nice enough.
So we start moving forward and the man with the brogue says, 'You've really got your hands full there Missy!" in a gruff and excellent voice.

It was then I realized that I have heard this statement more times than I can count. I guess it would seem that I am 'overwhelmed' by the number of children vs. the number of me. I can see that...and I do realize that this also might be an icebreaker, or a cliche that people use to make polite conversation. Okay.
But that's all every single person making a passing conversation can come up with?

I guess it's better than, "Hey you, lady with all the kids, I'm going to kidnap one of them tomorrow afternoon!"
or
"Hey You! You must like the sex!"
"Lady, can I borrow one of your kids to work in my sweat shop?"
"Hello! A couple more kids won't make a difference eh? I'll bring mine over in a half hour."


On a side note, some people should be receiving their envelopes of junk soon. My mailman missed half of the envelopes, so I'll have to send out the rest today.

I'll Send You Junk, You Post About it! Fun!

Ok Ok Ok! Follow along with this, cause I don't think I'm all that great at being a trend setter and it may get confusing.

Here's the deal:

I'm cleaning out our house and selling a whole bunch of stuff.... and here's the clencher, there's a giant bag of random crap I have no idea what to do with SO here's a summer game we all can play.

You send me your address...don't worry, I'm a totally awesome pillar of the community, and a business type person on the up and up. I won't stalk you, just send you a weird little trinket, possibly covered in child snot or feces (I JOKE! IS JOKE!!! KIDDING!).

Then you take a photo of your item and write a post about it. Then I'll link your post in my daily posts! See!?!?? Fun Fun Fun.

So let's do this, like Brutus!

Jumping Jehosophats!

Do you ever have those dreams where they're just so horrible you feel totally shaken when you wake up? I had one of those this morning and it was just horrendous. I still feel a little bit sick to the stomach actually! UGH!

In my dream Jeremiah left me, completely without warning for this really really really ugly super tall chick. Like SUPER TALL. And they were all making out in front of me with tongue and groping hands. It was seriously something I will have burnt into my mind forever.
And I was yelling in my dream like the sorry sap that I am, "I'VE BEEN WAITING FOR YOU MY WHOLE LIFE AND YOU END UP RUINING OUR DREAMS WITH SOME UGLY YUCKY PERSON!?"
and then he calmly says, "You drive me nuts." They walk away hand in hand. End Scene, bring on the tears.
I'm hoping this bowl of cheerios and strawberries will cheer me up and if that doesn't work, I bet the coffee will suffice...or the beautiful weather.

I'm going to head to the store today to get some 'outside' crap for the summer. We're saving for a new car right now and probably will be for awhile, so me and the kids are stuck at home a lot while Jeremiah is at work. I'm looking into the whole bus thing, I know there is a bus stop at the end of our street, but someone told me that you have to change buses and be on the bus for an hour before you can change to get to our town's public pool. We could probably walk there in an hour! It would just be one hell of a trek.

So anyone have any suggestions? Right now I'm thinking baby pool, maybe a volleyball net? A sprinkler?
Oh! Squirt Guns! My little brother and I used to play with those for ever. My mom hates guns in every form though, and she'd always be upset that we were shooting each other...even though it was just water.
Or sometimes hot water, just to put a little fear into my snotty brother!
Ah-Ha! Talk That Jehosophat!!!!!!!!!!

Poor Joshy...that's my brother. Otherwise known as Jehosophat, or Phats...which is funny cause my dad calls him Phats most often and Josh has never been even remotely fat. Ironically he was actually negative fact, being that he was like 1 pound 13 ounces at one point.
(Side note: he was born at 26 weeks gestation)

And although I was gentler than most older siblings are with their little brothers, I still tortured him and he still bugged the ever loving shit out of me. We had this one game called beat up dancing. We'd tango down a line and at the end we'd start hitting each other, and then continue tangoing back.
Classy.
I also made him try to smoke a green bean from the back yard garden once.

Wow.

I'll end this strange post on that strange note.

Look Out Dude From Twilight...

If anyone actually paid attention to me they'd be wondering how I'm holding up without my daughters here this week. (They're on vacation with their dad) The answer is, horribly.

I've been moping, not doing the housework I would usually have done in the first hour of the day, making Jeremiah's life a little miserable and calling the girls incessantly, which seems to be annoying both them and their dad. Sorry!

I started thinking about how selfish I am this morning. They're off having a grand time and I'm wishing they were here stuck with me in the house. Cleaning and doing pretty much nothing fun at all. (Sorry Elijah)

Soooo instead of being a whiny mopey turd head, I'm going to instead obsess over the one child that's always stuck with me.

MAY I INTRODUCE YOU TO THE NEXT BIG THING, ALREADY A HEART THROB AT 21MONTHS, WAY CUTER THAN THE DUDE FROM TWILIGHT:


ELIJAH CHRISTOPHER!!!!!!!!! AND THE CROWD GOES WILD!

Tongue In Cheek Thursday (is it Thursday?)

Yesterday I guided you through romance and all that it entails. But because I would feel bad for misleading you, I wanted to mention something to any men that might be reading this blog.

Please don't read yesterday's post and decide that acting like you enjoy those songs or those particular parts of those particular movies is going to help you land a chick.
I would guess that if you went on about how much you loved Moulin Rouge to a date, your chances of scoring with said date are pretty much null. So don't do it. And if it does work, only know that it so the girl can tell all her friends that she got a gay guy to have sex with her. Cause you know that's what all women set out to do on a daily basis...right...

Act aloof, like Jeremiah. He pretends like he hates musicals...yet he is a musician. We all know that musicals are universal and also the epitome of musical genius. So of course he is just pretending not to like them! I know that. Duh.

Or act pissed off, like Jeremiah. He gets so frustrated when I insist that he watch Oklahoma or Annie...we already decided that he is just acting like he hates musicals...so why is he so very upset when I have them on all the time? He doesn't like My Fair Lady? West Side Story? Carousel? Come on!

Or you can throw stuff at the t.v., like Jeremiah. I think I might know what this is about. He's upset that he didn't go into musical theater as a young man...that must be it.

Regardless, maybe I can talk him into watching Moulin Rouge...which he refuses to watch. I know that would be the straw to break the proverbial camel's back...he'd definitely be able to admit to his love of Musicals then and there.

HOORAY for my insight. I'm here to make the world a better place, obviously.