Friday, June 19, 2009

Bored Kids are meaner than Rabid Racoons

The first week of having my kids all to myself and not having to share them with the school system has been a fail so far. Mainly because of the cold rainy conditions, also because of all the cleaning and arranging I've been doing around the house.

Yesterday we went on a walk around the neighborhood and I realized that I hear one phrase from strangers repeated over and over again all the time. I don't usually pay that much attention, just smile and nod my head or make some sort of generic comment...but yesterday it dawned on me the repetition I hear on a daily basis.

So we're coming back up our hill after meandering partway down on this neat labyrinth of overgrown side streets and alleys that we love to walk on and we see two men talking and playing with a puppy on the corner of our street.

The kids go nuts cause we're coming up to this puppy and I'm warily looking at the men. First I notice they look amazingly like sea captains of some sort. You know, like the guys on The Deadliest Catch (which I obsessed over last year!)...long beards, old t-shirts, fanny packs, jeans and work boots. They're both talking very loudly and as we're coming closer I realize the older of the two men has a heavy irish brogue! WHAT?! The kids are suckers for puppies, but I love an accent. It instantly makes the person interesting, regardless of how shady and dirty they first seemed.

We amble up and the man without the accent, and definitely the cleaner looking of the two, but still not to be accent duh, says that the kids can pet the puppy. He's a very nice little poodle mix puppy, I'm no fan of animals but it seemed nice enough.
So we start moving forward and the man with the brogue says, 'You've really got your hands full there Missy!" in a gruff and excellent voice.

It was then I realized that I have heard this statement more times than I can count. I guess it would seem that I am 'overwhelmed' by the number of children vs. the number of me. I can see that...and I do realize that this also might be an icebreaker, or a cliche that people use to make polite conversation. Okay.
But that's all every single person making a passing conversation can come up with?

I guess it's better than, "Hey you, lady with all the kids, I'm going to kidnap one of them tomorrow afternoon!"
"Hey You! You must like the sex!"
"Lady, can I borrow one of your kids to work in my sweat shop?"
"Hello! A couple more kids won't make a difference eh? I'll bring mine over in a half hour."

On a side note, some people should be receiving their envelopes of junk soon. My mailman missed half of the envelopes, so I'll have to send out the rest today.


MoxieMamaKC said...

You're hilarious with the imaginary things they could have said! Good luck this summer with the kids!

MJenks said...

I think Captain Andy would punch you in the throat for suggesting that he wears a fanny pack.

I'm a sucker for an accent, myself...thus the Elizabeth Hurley section today.

Yellow Trash Diaries said...

And don't you love it when they say, "Wow, you look tired" which is basically saying "God you look like shit."

How come nobody likes a staunch, German accent?

I guess that's why Sean Connery is still sexy at 86, or however old he is.

Anonymous said...

Are you saying that as long as I have a cool accent, I can be as dirty and nasty as I want to be, and the ladies won’t be repulsed? Cool! I’ll start working on the accent right away! I’ve already got the dirty and nasty part down.

Anonymous said...

I prefer to go with the "I know what you've been doing" with a hearty bawdy wink

Sara Kempff said...

i have something for you at my blog.

Claudya Martinez said...

I like the "You must like the sex" one. Very funny. How about,"You should start your own band" or "Have you heard of birth control?" or "Which one is your favorite?" or "Are they quadruplets?"

Pop and Ice said...

I got my envelope today. Evidently I'll be writing about my pets! In fact the elusive Pepper has just sauntered by! He must be feeling better. And, no, he doesn't have fleas, Erin....

mylittlebecky said...

holy crap! irish accents. haaaaawt! sigh.

Vic said...

The accent always gets me too. We're suckers, we Americans...(esp. the women.)

AND, I am so bummed I somehow missed the mailing-out-junk-treasures post!!! I want some! It's too late now, though, huh?

Also, I love the picture on your header!

Sam said...

But like the sex, right? :)

This was fascinating to me because we hear the same couple comments over and over, too, and I'm sure you can guess what they are. ;)

Anonymous said...

Can I borrow a couple of them? I need an acre of leaves raked. I'll feed them.