Thursday, July 29, 2010

I Know it's Not Thursday...Thanks.

Does everyone remember when I used to post embarrassing photos of Jeremiah every Thursday and we all had a good laugh at his expense?



Just what I thought. Well here's a recap just in case you forgot:

Tomb Tainting Thursday
Too Much Tofu Thursday
Throw Up Thursday
and the reason I started posting these posts in the first place
"You Wouldn't Dare"

I haven't had any really excellent specimens to share until recently, when I took this gem:

I love him.

Monday, July 26, 2010

Christmas in July (till September)

Just like a very wise and withered sage once told me:

It's never too early to start your holiday shopping, especially when they holiday prices are so very discounted!

From now till Sept. 1st all of my custom order prices will be marked down considerably.

All custom adult and kids hats will be $30. Custom baby hats (12 months and under) will be $20.

Here are some photo examples of hats I've done in the past:

If you prefer luxury yarns, the prices will vary. Luxury yarn mixes include cotton/silk/linen blends, merino wool, peruvian wool and bamboo.

Baby Gift Sets are great not just for the holiday, but are also a wonderful option for a baby shower gift. Definitely a unique idea for a special baby. Baby gifts sets are completely customizable and can include anything from a baby hat with matching blanket to baby stuffed bunny and blanket...any baby items combined in any color or style!
Bunny and Blankey: $120 ($140 for luxury yarns)
Bunny and Baby Hat (baby hat matches bunnies hat): $90
Baby Hat and Blankey: $80

Here are some baby sets I've done in the past:

Custom Baby Blankets on their own: $60

My newest custom offering is full sized throws. I've been making them from very old vintage patterns and it's been a real challenge...
I'll be debuting some of the patterns at my new job here: CrochetSpot

If you can't crochet, buy a blanket from me today! Here's a peak at one I'm working on right now for a customer very into the retro look:

She requested acrylic yarns as her daughter is allergic to wool so her custom throw was only $85.
Luxury and all natural yarn throws are $120. For more information about pricing and styles that are available please contact me at I'm a prompt responder.

Everyone who mentions my store on their blog, facebook or twitter gets free shipping. Everyone who puts a ultra-cute crochet button on their blog like Aly or Becky or Jules gets free shipping and discounts.

Tuesday, July 20, 2010

Not So Romantic Erin

Jeremiah and I are way behind on the HBO series True Blood. We watched the first season via Netflix last summer and are just now watching the second season.

Which means I can't sign on to either twitter or facebook on Sundays without being assaulted by True Blood plot killers.

I really want to keep watching the show, I like the sex. I like the violence. I like the plot mechanics.

I just hate the romantic talky talky bullshit.

And the strange fairytale Beauty and the Beast music that plays every time Bill and Sookie kiss.

Hate hate hate.

Jeremiah and I use the phrase 'Too much talky talky' at least 10 times during one episode. And it's usually when Sookie and Bill are having the same conversation they've had on the show a thousand times (there's only 10 episodes per season too!):

"Sookie, you have no idea what it is like to be a vampire."

"Oh Bill, you have no idea what it's like to be a telepath."

"Sookie, I'm not accustomed to living in these times."

"Oh Bill, you'll learn. You have a heart even though you're a vampire."

"Sookie, I'm different from all the other vampires."

"Oh Bill, you have a heart even though you're a vampire."

And so on and so on...for about 2-8 minutes. Then they passionately kiss and the music starts. This is going to be a totally random comparison but I swear the music is nearly the exact same music that plays at the end of Disney's Beauty and the Beast when the Beast turns into a Prince.

Then Sookie and Bill begin to do it and there are lots of shots of his butt and her tits, which is somehow supposed to make up for the 2-8 minutes of excruciatingly boring diatribe I had to do through to get to the sex.

But it doesn't.

I'd rather just watch them fighting bad guys and getting involved in more plot twists than watching them do it...again. Maybe I'm just turned off by the talking.

So much for my romantic side.

Wednesday, July 14, 2010

Hearing Voices

I received an email from a online friend today that mentioned I am 'conspicuously absent' from the 'World of The Interwebs' as of late. Which is sad and funny at the same time, considering I did post just this Friday, July 9th.

Oddly enough her email hit the nail on the head (or is it coffin? Am I that morbid?). I am in a bit of a rut. I'm not prone to depression, but the last few days I can feel a malaise coming on.

I'm sure it has something to do with the fact that the girls are on vacation with their Dad this week. They won't be back until Monday, which means I will be without 75% of my children for 10 whole days. We're on Day Four. Elijah is lonely and that doesn't help my melancholy much. Jeremiah is at work everyday and I have been fairly busy with orders (I know it's summer but be thinking of your winter custom orders now! See a list of previous orders on the right side of this page. The earlier you order, the cheaper! Contact me at and my new job writing at CrochetSpot.

Of course the busier I am, the more lonely Elijah becomes, the sadder I continue to get.

This mood has led me back to old habits and has really begun to effect me. I'm rambling when talking, I sit down more, eat more and feel much more unmotivated than is usual for pretty active me. I got books from the library and have been reading for hours at a time. Despite all of my instincts trying to keep me from doing so, I watched Wisconsin Death Trip for the millionth time early this morning after Jeremiah went to work. Bad idea.

The music gets a little louder. I feel a little bit uglier.

I think a lot about the people in my life who suffer from chemical imbalances and have to be medicated for it. That makes me even more upset.

Will it turn out that one of these days one of my 'moods' won't be so easy to come out of? Will I start hearing things? Will I have panic attacks and severe social traumas?

I look out the window waiting for the smile to cross my lips in response to the sun peaking elegantly through the cloudy sky. Nothing comes.

Might as well kick myself out of this malaise and into that peaking sunshine before I'm not able to.

I'll let you know when I start hearing voices...


I feel better.

Friday, July 9, 2010

Cute Queries

Maxine Jane has been known to think deeply on certain subjects and often for long periods of time. What kind of puppy would be best for which baby doll sweater, what kind of food a certain kind of made up monster would like (most recently there was a discussion about whether the Carrot Head Monster would eat carrots or not), why eyes are brown, green or blue and not pink, purple or teal and other earth shattering topics of great importance.

Lately these deep thoughts have manifested themselves in queries addressed to me at odd and inappropriate times.

I'm tucking her in for the fourth time of the night and I'm getting a bit frustrated. I have just given her a 'dwinky' of water and now I'm kissing and hugging her goodnight.


"Yes Max?"

"Would you rather go swimming by yourself on a really hot day or play with a friend without swimming and be hot but eat cookies and popsicles?"

"Ummm...I'd probably rather play with the friend and eat cookies and popsicles. Swimming by yourself would get boring kind of fast."

"Yep. I think so too. Good night Momma."

"Goodnight Max."

Further questions came while I was in the bathroom on the toilet. Max comes in and despite my obvious uncomfortable position she queries away:

"Momma. Would you rather have a really nice wild animal as a pet, but it might not be that cute, like an alligator or a rhino, or have a really mean puppy dog? ...but the puppy is really cute!"

"Oh boy Maxine Jane. Neither, probably. I don't like animals."

"But Momma, if it's really cute and really nice you'll love it even if you don't usually like animals. Don't you understand?"

"Ok Max. Whatever you's obvious that you thought a lot about it....can you leave me alone now so I can finish pooping?"

"Sorry Momma."

She leaves the bathroom and stands outside the door. From there she continues explaining why a nice alligator would be a better pet than a mean puppy. Believe it or not, she's quite convincing.

The last question she's asked me many times over the last week of very hot weather. She asks me while I'm working, she asks me while I'm on the phone, she yells it down the basement steps while I' m doing laundry and most often while I'm tucking her in for the night.

"Momma. Would you rather be it be hot or cold?

"Well. There are nice things about both."

"I like it to be cold, so you can wear footy jammies to bed every night. Cause when it's hot you're always a pop can."

"That's a very good thought, Max. But don't you hate shivering or how cold it is when you get out of the bath tub or how you can't play outside that often because of the cold and the snow?"


"Okay. Goodnight Maxine Jane."

"Goodnight Momma."

Tuesday, July 6, 2010

Partially Nude Me...Ok...Not Even Close to Nude Me

Every once in awhile I will get an email asking me about my diet from last year, if it was successful, do I have any tips, etc...etc...

I was prompted by one of those emails to look up some photos of me last summer in July to compare with the ones Jeremiah and I took this weekend.

And Oh Boy oh boy oh boy. I can't believe I am about to post photos of myself in a bathing suit, but here goes nothing:

Last Year in July:

This Last Weekend:

More of Me Last Summer:

A Little Less Of Me This Summer:

And this is the reason I want to be AT LEAST 30 pounds lighter:


Although I'm generally happy with my appearance, I'd like to lose approx. 30 more pounds by the holidays. So far I've lost 50 pounds and 80 pounds total sounds like a nice goal to me!

I'd also like to start a band. I think that my weight loss and getting over my horrible stage fright would do a lot for my self esteem issues.

Will you come to all of my shows?

Friday, July 2, 2010

Biggest Sale In the History of Existence

I have been deeply discounting a lot of my shop products in order to make some movement (sometimes prune juice just doesn't cut it) in my sales.

Everything pictured below is now on sale at an even more discounted price only here on my blog. If you're interested in any of these things at these very low prices, please contact me at my email When you tell me what you're interested in I will send you a paypal invoice which you pay with any credit/debit card or your own paypal account. Once the payment goes through I'll either make up your custom order as quickly as humanly possible or ship out your item Tuesday morning.

Darling Baby Blanket in chocolate and raspberry $40 (all custom blankets on sale for $65)

Baby Bunny Hat 12-18 Months $13 (includes shipping) Custom baby hats are discounted but priced depending on size and materials.

Completely Customizable Baby Sets Now $150!

All Organic Cotton Face Scrubbies $10

Girls Shoe Size 6-9 Slippers with Vintage Buttons $10

All of the Stuffed Animals are now $30. Shipping included

Extra discounts will be given if you promote this sale on your blog or tweet about it etc...etc...