Sunday, January 31, 2010

The Waiter Probably will not Visit My Formspring Account.

Jeremiah and I had the worst sushi EVER yesterday afternoon. And it's not like we went to some chinese buffet that has the gross weird sitting for days 'sushi' at the one end of the buffet (under the hot lights). This was an actual Japanese Restaurant with a promoted sushi bar. I'm so sad. It's actually turned me off of my favorite going out dinner (for a little while at least).

The weird thing is the waiter actually hated me. Which is strange, because everyone always loves me, this much is obvious.

When we walked in to the restaurant and were being seated the waiter was at the booth right beyond the one we were being led to. He had his arm around a customer and was talking to her about how cool it was that she was going to college, about how they were excellent customers and how they really made his day. His accent was fun, he was giggly and I was kind of looking forward to having him as our waiter.

After we were seated and my smiles at him were not returned in any fashion, I figured that whenever he was done with the other customers he would turn his adorable affections on us.
He coldly walked past us without a greeting or asking us for a drink order. He didn't come back for quite a awhile. When he did he was completely without the amusing grin, the cocked hip, the funny banter.

"What you want to drink?" Emotionless.

"Well, I'll have a water, and the baby will have water in a kids cup. Do you have something with a lid?"

I get a solemn and annoyed roll of the eyes for the question.

"Of course."

Jeremiah looks amused. My charms have failed, my smile did not work it's usual magic. I couldn't bumble my way into this guys heart...and I had no idea why.

Jeremiah orders a Coke (which is horrible for him and I wish he would never ever drink ever. If you're out there reading this and thinking that Coke isn't so bad, please reconsider. Cola is the downfall of our nation and Diet Cola is even worse. Take Care and protect yourself from this evil force.)

The waiter turns and rushes off before I can ask for hot tea.

I'm disappointed by the menu and although I usually don't like to order the usual and popular americanized rolls I settle on a lunch special with three rolls (one to share with Elijah). The waiter doesn't write it down, but I'm okay with that. What I'm not ok with is the way he hasn't once looked at us while we're sitting there RIGHT IN FRONT OF HIM. What did I do that could have pissed off the guy so badly that his whole demeanor changed? Was it the smile? The awesome black turtle neck with 3/4 length sleeves? The light grey pants? The boots that are cloth and seem like that might be slippers but I wear them out in the snow regardless of their original and manufactured intent? The hair straightened but intentionally unstyled so as not to appear too soccer mommish?

Jeremiah orders some maki combo. We both get salads and soup. Which were both wonderful and practically thrown at us by our grouchy waiter.

Our rolls come out soon after, which was surprising. One of the usual experiences of eating sushi is waiting a little bit longer for the dude to craft your shit (I know the proper terms, I just don't want to seem like a total dweeb).

As I told you before they were gross. I'm not going to go into the details but I only ate a few pieces, which means that it had to be pretty dang bad. I have no idea how Jeremiah ended up eating all his and mine although he was as unhappy with the quality and taste as I was. I guess he was hungry.

We waited for a very long time for the bill. The mean waiter never refilled our drinks (which is probably better considered Jeremiah was drinking the 'evil pop'). He did bring us the bill eventually. Which wasn't cheap. He didn't say a word through this all. He did bring Jeremiah a refill right before we left though. It was diet Coke (the eviler of the two, which we discussed earlier, remember?).

We talked about our horrible experience for the rest of the day. Or actually...I complained about it for the rest of the day and Jeremiah nodded his head at me and pretended he was listening.

In other news, you can now ask me whatever your little heart desires over here at Mainly because I'm not original in any way shape or form and Steamy , Aly and Tony are doing it. I'll probably be putting a linky thing up over on the right side of my blog, somewhere. Although I hate clutter and I think that would really clutter this place up. Ugh, so many important decisions to make.

Friday, January 29, 2010

Fridays are Bittersweet...

Fridays are always bittersweet for me.

Three whole days of having my little boy (and the much bigger one) all to myself. But also three days without my girls. If you didn't already know, I share custody of my three oldest children with my ex husband.

I'm glad that they get to spend so much time with their dad. I loved every minute of my childhood all that much more because I had a kick ass dad. I wish I could have spent three whole days a week with him! He was a busy busy man when I was growing up. My mom definitely made up for it, but sometimes there's nothing like hanging with your Old Man.
(I remember listening to that Neil Young Album, Harvest...
Old man look at my life,
Twenty four
and there's so much more
Live alone in a paradise
That makes me think of two.
and thinking 24! That's fucking OLD!)

Mom! Dad! You should have divorced and shared custody of JUST ME for a couple years. Duh.

Getting the girls ready to go is an ordeal. We have to do homework, eat and pack school clothes for Monday and going out clothes for the weekend (in case he takes them to friends' houses or the movies or MCDonalds...we don't eat fast food at our house, so one extra point for him). I have to make sure all of Rose's soccer clothes are packed, Max's playclothes are Max approved and go through the suitcase one or two extra times to see if Olivia has stowed anything dangerous or expensive away in the pockets.

I watch Elijah follow us around while we're all busy, getting ready for their departure. I feel for him, I had many siblings and although I couldn't freaking stand them, I couldn't imagine not having them around all the time. He pleads with Rose to play with him ('Pay Wo Wo, play!'), pleads with Max to color with him ('Bap! Bap! Bap!'), pleads with Olivia to let him ride her back('Me Widgy, ME!')...but they're long gone, heading out the door to Daddy Land. And he's stuck here with me.

Don't get me wrong, I'm a good momma and a fun one too (most of the time), but even though I'll play with him and color with him and let him ride my back all weekend long, it doesn't compete with the joy his sisters bring him.


I think of it as Elijah getting the best of both worlds. He is the youngest of four children four days a week, with three older sisters who love and adore him (unless he's hitting them with his 'Rawr', a dangerous lion head on a pole he insists on carrying around everywhere AND sleeping with), and then three days a week he's an only child to two loving and adoring parents. Jeremiah is the youngest of four boys and I'm the oldest of five siblings, so we both have a very concise understanding of how lucky Elijah is to have parents all to himself some of the week.

Maybe he'll appreciate it later in life when I help him with a weekend science project or a writing assignment. Maybe when his sisters are older they'll come to all his skating expos or football games...or art gallery openings? Maybe eventually he'll realize that he's lucky, having his Poppa all to himself, going to the pool with him, skating with him, hiking and fishing.

As for me, I don't think I'll ever get over not seeing my girls for three whole days every week. I miss making Max's snacks and cuddling with her while we read many many books. I miss sitting with all of my children at the table, listening to them complain about whatever I made for dinner. I miss seeing Jeremiah at the piano with Rose or Liv, frustratingly doing a lesson. I miss the feeling I get before I finally get into my bed, late at night...filled with the knowledge that all of my children are safe and sleeping, right at my fingertips.

I also know that I may never get over it, but that I let go a long time ago. If I lead with a brave and beaming face, eager for the future, the rest of my family will follow...regardless of whether they're with me four days a week or seven.

Tuesday, January 26, 2010

A PhotoJournalist's Worst Nightmare

I feel like I haven't posted photos in awhile...although I'm completely sure that the notion is inaccurate.

Olivia drew this for me, it's our family. From the left?
Jeremiah, Maxine, Olivia, Rosey, Momma, Elijah. Look at Elijah's freaky E.T. head! Ahhh!
(You will notice that I am thin in this family drawing. Olivia told me the other day, "Thank God you're not fat anymore, Momma.")

Jeremiah looks stormy and brooding while he's being artistic. He's so gorgeous.

Elijah is also gorgeous.

New blankey! In luxury merino is soooo soft. This blankey is baby size and on sale for $50 right now. Please contact me for more info at or visit my shop online Ultra-Cute Crochet.

Trouble Times Two

Olivia Turned 7 this month

Rosey has black eyes. I don't mean the bruised kind...This hat is also for sale. It's sized Womens Regular, but as you see can be worn slouchy on a pre-teen or a teen.

Jeremiah was uncooperative while I was taking many many photos of us playing glow in the dark mini golf. So I posted the pic of him making a face at the camera in protest.

Thursday, January 21, 2010

The World's Tiniest Toot Exposed

We have pretty early bedtime here at Casa de la Dorkiness. We send the kids up to bed at 8pm and usually by 8:30pm it's relatively quiet. (I say relatively because lately Elijah has been jumping in his crib and yelling at fictional 'ho-hos' who obviously live on our roof...I'm as confused as you are.)

Last night around 8:45pm all was quiet and Jeremiah had been out running some errands so I was patting myself on the back for my successful solo bedtime results. I went up the stairs to use the bathroom and didn't close the door because that would alert the natives that may still be awake of my presence. I sat down on the toilet to pee and let out the tiniest little baby toot in the history of baby toots. This tiny gas bubble prompted this response from Olivia's room:


Which was followed by uncontrollable and insane cascades of laughter. Which ended with a calm Olivia saying:

"No, really Mom...are you okay?"

It was the World's Most Insignificantly Small Toot Ever! Now I'm sure she's at school telling all of her friends about her mom's disgusting night-time dump of epic proportions. Complete with sound effects and facial expressions. Oh boy.

Then this morning at 6:50am I woke up to find Maxine in my face. At least it wasn't 4am...but still, why does that child find it necessary to perch nearly directly on top of me and then stick her adorable and beaming face directly in mine? People who may wonder why I am totally and completely insane might understand if they knew I was woken up almost every morning like this.

"Momma. Momma. Momma."

"Holy crap Max! What's wrong?...Oh. Good morning Max, I didn't realize it was morning time yet."

"Mom. Olivia and Rose are not up for school yet. Not yet. I went in their room and turned on their light and jumped on them and they just got up and turned the light off and went back to bed."

"Max. It's not even 7am. The girls don't have to be up till 8."

"Oh...well, 7 is close to 8. They're right next to each other. It's kind of like the same thing. Right?"

"I'll get up with you Max, just leave them alone."

"But Mommmmmm....Olivia needs to get something for me."

"I can get it for you."

"No. Olivia has to."

"Max. I can get it, get up off of me so I can get dressed."

"Mom. NO. You can't see it. It's....a surprise."

This is a red alert...I can see all the signs of some kind of huge mess or something of that caliber hidden somewhere in my house.

"Maxine, I'll get it for you, leave Olivia alone. You're not supposed to have secrets from me."

"Mom. Just leave it alone."

She sounded so serious I decided to leave it alone and wait to see what secrets Olivia would uncover later in the morning.

Later in the morning...I found that Olivia and Max had slathered one of Elijah's sleeping bunnies with lotion and shaving gel, cut up his long floppy ears, put him in a plastic bag and hid him in the bathroom linen closet underneath the towels. I'm going to attempt to wash him, but I think that bunny might be dead. Good thing Elijah won't notice cause he has 5 other sleeping bunnies to replace that one. But, to be honest with you, it was my favorite.

R.I.P. Grey and Green Sleeping Bunny. You were soft, but not long for this world.

Wednesday, January 20, 2010

Roller Coasters are for Dorks

I love Jeremiah's family. They're all smart, funny and active. Three of my favorite human traits. I say human because I prefer my aliens to be dumb, humorless and very very lazy.

My favorite member of Jeremiah's extended family is his one and only niece, Haley. She's a excellent little girl and looks a lot like Elijah. Every time they're together I'm struck with the notion that Haley and Elijah look more alike than Elijah and his own sisters.

The other night Jeremiah's brother sent us an email with a youtube video of their crazy jumping cats. I scrolled quickly through his videos and found this one of Haley's first roller coaster ride. I laughed and laughed and laughed. I showed my mom the next day and she laughed and laughed and laughed. We're of the opinion that it's funnier than most America's Funniest Home Video nonsense. Without further adieu:

She's looking over at her Momma and her Grandma on the other roller coaster. It seems like she's either cheered by the sight of them or she's trying to put on a brave face for them. Adorable and hilarious all at once.

I'm hoping to put more blankeys in my shop and on sale here very soon! Everyone will have to give their opinions on the colors I'm using, etc...etc...

Till then, sweet readers....I bid you good day. Or some shit like that.

Friday, January 15, 2010

Compiling Information in My Bed...Engage.

Here is a copy of the list I wrote last night in bed. I could not sleep even though I watched the requisite late night Star Trek:Next Generation and 48Hours. So forgive any strange errors, I'm typing this the way I wrote it last night:

--Do Not eat any more bite size snickers bars. The three you consumed yesterday plus any you might shove into your mouth today will make you gain back all 40 pounds you've lost since October in one day. And then you'll cry a lot.

--Name Max something else. Or don't call her Max. Tired of everyone thinking that she's a boy, but then isn't that the idea of the cute short little name anyways? Ok, Maxine Jane forever it is. Ugh, that's long.

--Find an appropriate penalty for Jeremiah for leaving the t.v. on all night. Maybe it will be penalty enough when our pretty new t.v. burns out from over use. Hmph.

--Drink less coffee. Teeth are going to be yellow and unfortunately crooked for life now. Fuck. Fuck you coffee and wisdom teeth, you've made me a fucking mess.

--Find some really super nice teenager with no friends but no pent up anger from not having any friends to be Elijah's babysitter once a weekend.

--Whoops. Forgot to take that multi-vitamin my mom is insisting I take. I hate vitamins.

--Write blog post about how stupid people are and how fed up with society you are. Then gloat to Jeremiah about how awesome and insightful you are.

--Clean out the pantry you damn dirty.

--Make myself a giant blanket of luxury soft merino wool and then walk around the house all day wrapped up in it. No more cooking, can't ruin blanket.

--Read Max Llama Llama Mad at Mama a million more times before she goes to her dad's house tonight. A MILLION MORE TIMES.

--Instead of fretting over what kind of neat storage I'm going to put in the gameroom for the millions of toys and books piled up in the corner... throw them all away. All of them. Even Llama Llama Mad at Mama. Pinkilicious. One Cranky Angry Bear. chubby baby Julia. Giant basket of trucks. All 407 stuffed animals. Even the bunnies. (OK maybe not bunnies)

--Stop pinching stomach fat right now. It's not going anywhere tonight, enjoy the warmth it creates.

--Order Color Ink cartridges for the printer. Everyone hates me for being cheap. Everyone.

--Grow taller. you won't look so fat at 5'7'' instead of 5'2''.

--Look up Ben Folds tour dates. Ask Jeremiah if we can go see him again. This time cry when Jeremiah rolls his eyes. Then mope all day and sing You To Thank, The Luckiest or Gone in an annoying loud tone. LOUD, ERIN.

Typing this out is painful. The funny thing is this list took up two pages front and back in a notebook. Must have been all the doodles in between the bullets of the list. The doodles were mostly all bunnies. I love bunnies.

--Get a bunny. Put it in a crate in the corner, complain about how much it stinks and how hard it is to clean up after. Fucking disgusting bunny.

Monday, January 11, 2010

I Flip My Hair at You

When one of my blogworld friends posts a video, I have the strangest urge to respond to that video with my own. I guess I think it's sort of like we're talking person to person, like as if we were in a cafe or on the phone, but not really.
So Aly posted this video blog and here is my 'response':

Friday, January 8, 2010

O. Darling!

Olivia is like sunshine. She would never pay a bit of attention to any one person, but instead graces all of us with her charming warmth and vitality. And today she turns 7 years old.

During my pregnancy with Olivia, I had been dead set on naming her Parker Darling. What a lovely name!

Near the end of my pregnancy I felt bad for my ex husband and his lack of involvement in the new baby’s name and acquiesced to naming her Olivia Darling, Olivia being his favorite girls’ name. Darling, of course, would stay her middle name, a name born out of many hours on bedrest watching The Darling Family and Peter Pan with Rosey, my first daughter.

Olivia was born on an unseasonably warm January morning. I had only briefly labored with her and she was delivered quickly and violently into this world by my beloved (albeit sleepy) doctor and thrust into my surprised and bewildered arms. Olivia was not a giant by some standards but to me having birthed her tiny dark sister just three years before, her appearance was shocking. She was 9 pounds 13 ounces and 23 inches long, she was a beautiful rosey pink and had a coating of white fuzz covering her round head like a marine style crew cut. The only thing dark about her was her black eyes, French Roast black…and I had only glimpsed a brief view of them, for she fell asleep in the incubator as they were cleaning her up and taking her vitals, her fat new fingers in her fat new mouth.

When I really got to hold her for the first time, she latched on to my breast perfectly and nursed forever and ever. The nurses kept coming into the birthing suite and rolling their eyes. They wanted to move us into a regular room and clean Olivia up, but she just kept on nursing. She nursed through her first visit with her big sister, through meeting her grandmothers and her aunts, she nursed while my mother fed me French toast from a yellow hospital tray, she nursed while I was on the phone with cousins and aunts and my own grandparents. Finally, the nurses did not want to wait any longer and I pried her from my body and handed her off. Later they told me that in newborn nursery Olivia had slept through her whole bath and was still sleeping when they brought her into my room 1 hour later.

I was injured as a result of her birth and we stayed in the hospital for many days. During which I was bullied out of using Darling as Olivia’s middle name. I cried when I was on my own, later that night, after I filled out her birth certificate and insurance information. I felt like a baby myself, with no identity or choices… but then having Olivia there with me set the world right. It was a strange dichotomy.

She slept for the next few months of her life, a wonderful baby who was only cranky when she was hungry and even then she would simply grunt and squeal like a delightful baby piggy (which became her nickname). I would spend hours nursing her and cuddling with Rose. Rose never experienced the early sibling envy, she had a new baby to look at and barely ever had to share me with her, what would she have to be envious of? Olivia would sleep, sit in her seat, nurse and then sleep some more. Rose and I slept in a bed together, Olivia slept in a wooden cradle next to us and she would sleep all night long.

The twos were terrible for Olivia and me. She was a large toddler and hard to handle, she hated getting dressed, she hated any sort of planned activity. She was a daredevil and constantly jumping and climbing. I cried on the phone to my friends late at night that she and I didn’t speak the same language, that there was a disconnect there that had never happened with Rosey and I.

After a while I realized that a lot of my inability to deal with Olivia came from my inability to realize how unhappy I was in my position in life and in my marriage. I wish I could make up to her how coldly I may have treated her misbehavior and go back in time and hug her more and tell her how much I loved her no matter how stressed and tight I always was.

I was young, yes, but she was my baby and deserved better.

Now through changing my own life and our lives as a family, Olivia and I have come out a happier duo. She may seem like she comes from a different planet, but now I realize she’s distant from me for a reason.

She has no need of my approval…she’s already a totally awesome unadulterated and unique being without any involvement on my part. Rock on Olive.

Happy 7th Birthday Olivia! I love you!

Thursday, January 7, 2010

Sneak Peaking

I'm very excited to show everyone my new items!

If you are interested in anything shown on my blog or in my etsy shop, please contact me. I'm a very prompt, awesome business lady. I just called myself a 'lady'! Did I ever tell you about the time I told a teenage waitress not to call me 'Ma'm' and it seemed like she was going to cry!? Another time, I guess.

Tomorrow is Olivia's birthday and the post will be all about her...come back for her grisly massacre-like birth story. (Just kidding, I wasn't planning on talking about her birth or how her giantness ripped my tiny body stem to sternum and left me hospitalized for five days)

This is my newest item, a reversible baby blanket:

It's traditional 'crib' or 'carriage' size and the polka-dots are reversible. Duh. Lime on one side, chocolate on the other. I'm currently working on a chocolate blanket with dark pink and scarlett reversible poseys. Very 'modern' colors. I love them. For a limited time the blanket pictured will be available for $50. A custom blanket (you pick the materials and colors) are $70. Contact me for ordering info via email:

This is a women's cabled hat in teal (This hat is currently $25!) matches the candy apple red cabled hat girls 2T-4T ($20). This is the style of hat and scarf I wear. I wear it in black though.

This is Kara wearing one of the custom sets she ordered...A custom cabled set is $90. The scarf is $55 and the hat is $35. No adorable bows for Kara though:

Kara should be my new model!!!

I made this hat for Vic's daughter a few months ago. I call them 'Pan Beanies' cause they remind me of Peter Pan. They can be worn buckled for a rolled brim or unbuckled for a longer look. (The pic of me is funny on purpose...not because I'm funny looking)
Vic's daughter's hat was in dark green and lime (to order this hat custom made contact me with what colors and sizes you would be interested in. Child's custom 'Pan Beanie' $20, Adult custom 'Pan Beanie' $30)

This Child's Pan Beanie 12mths-2T is in chocolate with hazelnut trim. The vintage buttons are robin's egg blue (this hat is available right now for shipping on sale for $18):

Tuesday, January 5, 2010

You Must Have Misheard Me...and My Dad.

So when I read that Vic thinks Eric Clapton needs 'a deep fried mexiccccannn' it reminded me of a few mistaken song lyrics I've had the pleasure to hear in my lifetime.

When I was a little girl I was convinced that Hendrix sang " 'scuse me while I kiss this guy!". I was always perplexed by this because he seemed so insistent on it. Like he was really really excited. To each their own, I guess.

Another mistaken lyric from my childhood, "Always know sometimes think it's me, but you know I know and it's a dream. I think I know of thee, ah yes, but it's all wrong.
That is I think I have to pee". The funny thing about misunderstanding the last section of that verse from Strawberry Field is that I always got the first section right...some of the most misunderstood lyrics ever.

As an adult my misheard adventures were mainly from Steely Dan songs. I 'rediscovered' Steely Dan a couple years ago (which means my Daddy burned me a box set of Steely Dan) and had a few run-ins with the lyric train as a result:

"Babylon Sisters"
Misheard Lyrics:
Drink gazpacho from a shell.
Original Lyrics:
Drink Kirschwasser from a shell.

Misheard Lyrics:
Your sparkling vagina
Original Lyrics:
The sparkle of your china

"Deacon Blues"
Misheard Lyrics:
Drink scotch whiskey all night long,
And drive behind the wheel.
Original Lyrics:
Drink scotch whiskey all night long
And die behind the wheel.
(which isn't all that far removed)

"Deacon Blue"
Misheard Lyrics:
Make love to these women
Languid and dead asleep.
Original Lyrics:
Make love to these women
Languid and bittersweet.
(I have no idea how I got 'languid' but couldn't get 'bittersweet')

From Tori Amos's "Blood Roses"
Misheard Lyrics:
Now you've cut out the fruit
From the Fruit of the Loom.
Original Lyrics:
Now you've cut out the flute
From the throat of the loon.
(You can hardly ever tell what she's really saying, so I made this up on my own)

The funniest story ever in the history of the world brings this post full circle with a very good Eric Clapton song, 'Bell Bottom Blues'. My Dad and I are discussing our favorite song lyrics and I, being a complete and total sap of a girl was busy quoting my favorite 'romantic' lyrics. My Dad was patiently listening until I quoted the aforementioned 'Bell Bottom Blues'.

"Do you want to see me crawl across the floor to you?
Do you want to hear me beg you to take me back?"

As soon as the words left my mouth my Dad gave me an incredulous look and started,

"Erin, that's not what he says!" But I can tell he's kind of unsure now.

"Well, Dad...what did you think he says?" my Dad is turning a little bit red...I know that he has it wrong and has had it wrong now for years!

"No...maybe you're right..."

"DAD! You have to tell me what you think it is now. What could you have possibly thought he said?"

"Ok...Ok... Do you want to see me plant a cross before you?"

"WHAT!? That's what you thought he said?!" I laughed and snorted for five minutes straight after that and then we discussed how he could have got that lyric from the song AND continued to think it was the correct lyric for so many years. We also joke about it to this day.

This post was also inspired by Jules's Out of Tune Idol Competition at her blog. Go and vote on your favorite 'Out of Tune' Blogger AND read the judges comments. I was howling this morning!

Sunday, January 3, 2010

Babbling Not Allowed, Luckily for You.

A lot of my conversations are texted, mainly because sometimes it's nearly impossible to talk on the phone and hear anything the other person is saying. It's loud around here. Very loud.

Facebook I.M.'s with my babiest sister:

Hannah: I have ur children.


Hannah: I came into ur house and took ur children.


Erin:Now go to bed.

Facbook I.M. with my babiest brother Ben, right after his recent bad breakup:

Ben: I just don't know what to do, one minute she's crying cause I won't spend the night with her the next she's breaking up with me.

Erin: Get over it. Read a book.

Ben: I bet you wouldn't be thinking that way if it was Jeremiah.

Erin: Bitches ain't shit but hoes and tricks.

Texts with Jeremiah while I was attempting to shovel the snow:

Erin: How the heck do you get all the snow that's packed into the sidewalk?

Jeremiah: manual manipulation.

Erin: I'll show you manual manipulation...or something.

Texts with Jeremiah while I'm making dinner:

Erin: Can u bring home milk?

Jeremiah: ok.

Erin: Are you mad?

Jeremiah: No. why?

Erin: You sound mad.

Texting Jeremiah while he's working:

Erin: How's it going, Mister?

Erin: I found these free mp3s on amazon this morning. Classical music.

Erin: Your son just had the biggest shit in the history of big shits.

Erin: What do you want for dinner?

Erin: Tacos?

Erin: Pizza?

Erin: Fried Rice?

Erin: Nevermind. Max doesn't want any of those things.

Jeremiah (finally): It's always about Max, isn't it?

Texting with my best friend, Mindi, home for the holidays:

Mindi: Going to be late for dinner. Around 6 now.

Mindi: And maybe by myself:

Erin: I see. Ok. What's Ish going to do?

Mindi: He's thinking about sitting around the house and being a bum.

Erin: He can sit around here and be a bum.

Mindi: I know.

Erin: Ok.

Erin: You can stay with him if his majesty isn't going to permit your visit.

(no answer)

Erin: I just looked at that and it sounds mean, I didn't mean for it to be.

Mindi: I know.

Texting my Mom:

Erin: Mom.

Erin: Mom.

Erin: Mom.

(home phone rings)

Erin: "Hello?"

Mom: "Erin, I don't have unlimited text messaging and I'm at home. What the heck do you want?"

Erin: "Nothing, really.....what are you up to?"